I need help with my anger. It's hurting my family. I lose my temper at little things, not at work place but at home. I have seen a couple of therapists, but with only a little benefit. It mostly comes back to self control. I believe I know the underlying issue: stress at work, visa issues, peer pressure (underachiever compared to others who are climbing up). It's all bottled up, and any little mistake by family opens the valve, and also makes me feel like I'm failing at parenting too, doubling my frustration. And family gets the brunt of it. I do stupid things in anger like yelling, throwing things around, and then die of remorse later :-( Desperately in need of help.
You need exercise and break on weekends. Try to listen more than you speak. Take it easy. People are going through even worse stuff.
If you go deep in any subject you will remain âOâ. Think positive Before you react such a way you can get rid of anger.
You may be are lacking a good night sleep. Thatâs what I do when I am in stress at work and on top of that getting slammed with chores at home constantly nagged by the wife.
Do you read? If yes, start with 10% Happier and/or The subtle art of not giving a f**k. I would also suggest, A guide to good life and Insight meditations by Joseph Goldstein (Safely skip the religious parts if you are not interested like me). These 4 helped me tremendously and made me a calm and happy person. I very rarely lose it nowadays, but my tamed mind accepts / acknowledges and moves on before any damage is being done. Just take a deep breath! :)
Donât resist your anger. Like anxiety or depression, anger needs to be understood. Sit every morning and connect your mind to your body. The first step usually is to acknowledge you need help and you are already there. There is anger management session on headspace. Try that. In a snapshot âJust watch the anger arise as you are angry, free from any judgement. Anger is very necessary part of emotion and itâs ok to be angry. When you resist, it blows up inappropriately. You will see every day improvement by just following this simple stepâ. I had similar issue but mixed with anxiety and now I am completely aware and much happy.
Male or female ? Do you take it out on your parents or children ( wonât fight back ) or your husband or brother /sister?
Do some mindfulness exercises and take a walk. Both have helped me. Also apologize to your family and tell them youâre working on it.
go to a south philly bar and let out emotional outburst on a sports fan against his team. The free anger management treatment you get should work for a life time.
Meaning the ass-whooping you get will shorten your lifetime to about 15 minutes?
Depression often looks like anger and gets misdiagnosed. Keep looking for a therapist / psychiatrist until you find someone you click with. Also, nothing will help quite like meditation will. Go on a 10 day meditation retreat at any of the dozens of centers.
This ^^ Depression especially for men often manifests as anger. It might be worth looking into this.
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I donât think you are an underachiever if others are promoted. And you also talked about stress at work. Focus on switching jobs, apply for Canada perm, study hard to build skills. Take a long vacation from work if you can. Work affects every damn thing in life.