I've come to the realization that I do not enjoy my work whatsoever, and I'm doing nothing to contribute to society in a positive way. I find my work boring, and I could not care less about "improving" myself from a career perspective/being a better employee, as it all just seems so meaningless. I know that sounds like textbook depression, which I do suffer from, but I can't be the only one who feels like all of this endless TC-chasing and brown-nosing is pointless.
Don't get me wrong, the TC is nice, but I just feel like it's not worth it when I'm sacrificing 45-50 hours of my week every week to do something I don't enjoy. On top of that, I've grown to despise the notion of working "under" somebody - this probably stems from the fact that my boss is a micromanager.
If I continue down this path, one day, I'll wake up and be 50 years old and wonder why the hell I wasted the last 30 years of my life staring at a computer screen. Thinking of having the same unenjoyable routine like that for the next 30 years is terrifying to me. Who knows, maybe SWE just isn't for me.
As I see it, I have a few options:
1. Quit my job and seek meaning in a different career path
2. Don't quit my job and try new hobbies
3. Find a different job at a company that aligns more with my values (if you choose this option, feel free to comment a company that you think I should apply to)
TC: 180k
YOE: 1
#mentalhealth #burnout
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What this buys you is simple. A hobby or a side project/passion that you can dedicate your off time to.
For me that was mentoring middle school kids in STEM or helping kids get into their colleges.
Once you find something worth dedicating to (whether itโs art, music, volunteering, writing, heck even church/temple) itโll be better. The item you dedicate to can change every few years also!