How to be emotionally independent from parents?

Jul 5, 2021 19 Comments

I'm 23 and working in the US while my parents live abroad. I was fortunate to be raised by caring parents who just literally my best friends and cheerleaders. Wouldn't have made it here without them.

That said, I'm having trouble being apart from them. I've developed an intense emotional attachment to them and I cry almost every over week because I miss them so much. I miss their food, mom forcing me to take vitamins, and just their presence. If MSFT had a PM/design position in my home country, I would go in a heartbeat.

When did you realize you stopped thinking about your parents and become emotionally independent? Especially foreigners/international students?

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TOP 19 Comments
  • Amazon
    notamzn

    Go to company page Amazon

    notamzn
    You are home sick. This is normal. Try accepting where you are and where you’re headed. Take care of yourself, find good friends. Things will eventually get better.
    Jul 5, 2021 2
    • I am working in Seattle and because I've joined very recently, I don't know anyone here. Where do I look for good friends? 😭
      Jul 6, 2021
    • Amazon
      EpSQ61

      Go to company page Amazon

      EpSQ61
      People generally hang out with others from the same country. In my case, there’s a church community that meets every Sunday, despite many of them not being religious.

      What country are you from?
      Jul 12, 2021
  • Amazon
    amzeee

    Go to company page Amazon

    amzeee
    Hey how long have you been in the US? In the early years of work it’s not unusual to feel that way and more so especially in the wake of what happened last year. With time as travel opens up you will realize it is not so bad. They can visit you and likewise you can. Trust me you will feel better in time. In my first job after I moved to the US, I felt awful initially too. Give it time. You’ll make friends , realize that you can be with your parents up-to several months a year if they visit you(even if they require a visa). Things will get better.
    Jul 5, 2021 3
  • Uber / Data
    buttnutter

    Go to company page Uber Data

    buttnutter
    The strong ties you have to your parents are a strength not a weakness. Use them to motivate you to live a good life for them.
    Jul 5, 2021 0
  • Facebook
    GaussNoise

    Go to company page Facebook

    GaussNoise
    It has been 19 years I am in USA. I used to feel just like you when I came here. Phone cards were expensive and my parents didn’t have access to internet for video chat. Thanks to technology, I talk to them almost every day over FaceTime or WhatsApp call. You just need to make friends to hangout which might have been a challenge since the pandemic started.
    Jul 5, 2021 0
  • NVIDIA
    gpuuu

    Go to company page NVIDIA

    gpuuu
    I was (and still am) on a similar boat. Have been living away from family for 11 years. I go back once a year but I am still not sure that the path I took is the right one especially that in those years, I lost my father.

    If you decide to go back, that may be the better choice. I am not saying that focussing on better money/career while visiting family is a bad option, I’m just not sure that it was the better choice for me.

    I’d say be careful trying to simply overcome the attachment you’re feeling because there is a good chance overcoming it may not make you happy in the end.
    Jul 5, 2021 1
    • I'm sorry that happened to you and thanks for sharing. I'm also scared that while I'm abroad, something might happen to my family and I can't help them. After I save more money I might go back permanently.
      Jul 6, 2021