How to motivate wife to do more?

New
fisb184cke

New

fisb184cke
Mar 25 355 Comments

My wife has never had a job as an adult ever. She is in her mid 30s. We had an arranged marriage and from India. I want her to acquire some skill and get a profession and a job. We have been married for more than 10 years and throughout this time I have encouraged her to do something for a career.

Current situation: we have an elementary school going kid and a 4 year old in day care (8 - 5)

Her day includes:
2 hours in the morning to get the kids ready and drop them
2 hours of cooking and taking care for our house
2 hours for evening time kids care
2 hours of personal care exercise, shower etc.

Giving 8 hours for sleep that still leaves 8 hours a day of un explained time. I have been trying to convince her that she should at least work/study 5 hours during the day.

Is this a reasonable expectation?

(I work 10 hours a day and do absolutely nothing for the house. I would like guidance from working parents on what I can do and how you split chores among yourself)

I told her that we will pretend to be a working parents until she acquired a skill and gets a job.

My TC 500k
Yoe 15
(SWE)
#workingparent #parenting

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 355 Comments
  • Intuit
    !BONUS

    Go to company page Intuit

    !BONUS
    This guy wants to increase household TC and absolutely does nothing at home.

    Chill like a king and then expect other half to work and earn more and still do all the chores.

    You can’t expect everything.

    Lastly, 500k TC is way more than enough to feed a family of four

    This same person will cry with tears of blood when he has to pay $2500 for Nanny every month for child care when her wife starts working 9-5
    Mar 25 12
    • Groupon
      VesD86

      Go to company page Groupon

      VesD86
      You seem to have 8 hours left in your schedule, why dont you upskill yourself and get a better TC ?
      Mar 26
    • New
      fisb184cke

      New

      fisb184cke
      OP
      Hello….cannot do take out. We eat healthy home cooked food. So I need to assist wife with prep / clean up.

      Nanny and house cleaning help are on the cards.

      @groupon, yes I do upskill every day for 2 hours. I keep repeating the same LC questions. Plus acquire significant domain knowledge. I am in track for a 750k tc in a year, maybe 2. My personal goal is to reach a 1 million tc in 5 years.
      Mar 26
  • Splunk
    MbRd72

    Go to company page Splunk

    MbRd72
    Your TC is 500k, chill dude. Work at home = unpaid labor
    Mar 25 4
    • Databricks / Field Ops
      hcMx59

      Go to company page Databricks Field Ops

      hcMx59
      This!

      Unless he was to get divorced. If you were in his spot, the next knot you'd be tying would be to the ceiling fan.

      Don't preach. Besides, it's not just about TC. If his wife works, she can put money towards her own 401k, get some experience, skills, and contribute towards her social security. He doesn't need her money. But both would be better off provided he shares in all the chores she does.
      Mar 25
    • Qualcomm / Eng
      koyi

      Go to company page Qualcomm Eng

      koyi
      I don't agree with, sometimes it is not about money, it is about self-development, facing challenges., leaving the same life for the entire 100 years, and telling us we doing good. that's not enough.

      Human life is not sticking to where we are, it is just taking yourself to one step forward at a time.
      Mar 30
  • Twilio
    shdheb

    Go to company page Twilio

    shdheb
    From your wife’s perspective:
    “How do I stop my husband from pushing me to get a job? I do all the house work, I take care of him and the kids, so that he can focus on his job. He is a good provider for the family and I’m doing my part to make sure he can stay focused and happy. But he keeps pressuring me to get a job. If I do that, who’s going to take care of the kids, him and the house? Who’s goin to do all the house work? I’m happy with what I do because I love my family. But I don’t think my husband understands my perspective..”
    Mar 25 6
    • New
      fisb184cke

      New

      fisb184cke
      OP
      Aviso….what in my post triggered you so much? Did you read the post carefully?
      Mar 25
    • Aviso
      super user

      Go to company page Aviso

      super user
      @OP what triggered me is that you are a ~40 year old uncle who is jealous of his wife and trying to make-up legitimate-sounding reasons to get your answers without getting flogged (and that too failed).

      I have seen men like you in real life and what happens to the kids/wives. And going by the other comment somewhere here, your elder kid is not on path to a healthy human either, isn't it? I can imagine the horrible pressure your wife must be under. Trying to change a 35 year old adult when it's not even needed. Vitiating home atmosphere when it's not even needed.

      Puke-worthy.

      I wonder, however, are you a wife-beater as well.
      Mar 26
  • Meta
    🔹 blue

    Go to company page Meta

    🔹 blue
    She already works 8 hours- you want her to work 16 hours? What kind of madness is this
    Mar 25 5
  • Amazon
    miraclegit

    Go to company page Amazon

    miraclegit
    If your wife has no work experience, her job won’t even make a dent in your household income. I also am guessing you don’t truly understand how much she does around the house.
    Mar 25 1
    • New
      fisb184cke

      New

      fisb184cke
      OP
      I am not sure that is the case. Since I am working from home I see exactly how much she works and 6 hours it i.
      Mar 25