How to not get emotional

Dec 4, 2019 11 Comments

My manager made an inappropriate comment about me. I went to her boss but I couldn't stop the tears. Everytime I want to talk about something difficult I become like this. How can I stop my self and not to look like a weak person?

Edit: I feel really bad right now that I even talked with this guy. He couldn't care less and told me you go and talk to your manager and resolve it between yourselves.

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TOP 11 Comments
  • Amazon wannabe?
    Cry alone first and then go and report.
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Guidewire gWCI76
    Nothing wrong with being emotional when describing the situation to her boss.
    Dec 4, 2019 0
  • Google fl:ex
    You aren’t weak. Your and her boss are weak.
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Mailchimp udWL39
    Nothing wrong with being emotional at all to her boss. Obviously the comment affected you and the emotion shows that, I’d hope that means that her boss will take it very seriously.

    I have similar issues when talking about difficult or sensitive subjects and see a therapist twice a month about it. Therapy has been extremely helpful in giving me tools and helping change my thought process and initial gut reactions to these kinds of sensitive situations. It might be something you find worthwhile for a handful of sessions.
    Dec 4, 2019 0
  • Amazon y=mx+b
    Sadly, when anyone gets emotional or cries in the workplace and it’s brought to management, the issue either becomes overblown (you made someone cry! Nail that perpetrator regardless of what was said!) or ignored (he/she is being emotional and unprofessional! Get over it!).

    I’ve mentored women in the workplace, both tech and non-tech and I’ve seen both cry or get emotional due to something like what you describe.

    First, let yourself feel what you feel. Denying feelings will just have them leak out of you later in other ways.

    If you can, find a trusted mentor or confidante; it’s often ok to cry in front of them without fear of judgment. I give my mentees my cell number to call in case of significant distress so they I can help them process what’s going on, so they can face it afterward with a clear head and no negative judgment from me. After that, it’s easier to let go, escalate and problem solve.
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • This is a quick fix. I cry a lot too and this works for me everytime I feel like crying. Press your tongue to the roof of your mouth every time you feel like crying. This will make you stop crying. Not sure about the science behind it, but it works!
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Facebook Almostdone
    Try to make yourself not care about the topic or the problem. There are various techniques. You can detach yourself from the situation and talk from the perspective that it’s about someone else. Or you could use diversion, overwhelm yourself with some other problem that is much bigger than the current one and convince yourself that the current problem is insignificant in comparison.

    I have similar although different issues. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It’s hard to control emotions.
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • New / Mgmt fIlT81
    Who sits above your boss’ boss? How about reporting the incident to them? If you have any HR resources, you should also report to them.

    That said, a conversation with your boss directly is often sound advice. If the comments were not malicious, a direct conversation could provide awareness she was missing. And then, if she handles poorly, 100% bring it back up the chain.

    Bottom line, communication is key. Emotion isn’t weakness unless it inhibits your ability to communicate. Otherwise, it strengthens your point. Just focus on the point you’re trying to make, channel all the emotion into making that point, not derailing you from it.
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Microsoft / Eng __Ranveer
    What was the inappropriate comment?
    Dec 5, 2019 0
  • Cisco nyarlotho
    Toughen up. No comment anywhere should turn you into an emotional wreck. Why do you even care what other people think?
    Dec 5, 2019 0

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