Blind community, what’s your fair opinion review based on the scenario? H: current 180k base + 25k bonus, engineer role, yoe 15, master degree W: current 100k base + 10k bonus, IT Support role, yoe 3 (previous background: 7 yoe banking retail, 4 employment gap due to raising kids while studied MBA/MIS, undergrad business, re-entered In 2016 in software support, YR 1 TC, 60k Age gap H>W 15 Y Have been Stressful in argument and fights, when topic leads to TC, 100k is not considered as a contributing spouse because it is too little in the Bay. Feel insulting and gender inequality with this huge age gap. What’s wrong here? What do you have to say?
I'm not sure what husband is complaining about. 100k seems good for 3yoe and non eng role
Yep. Not seeing how the “wage gap” is significant at all. The age thing, I could see being an issue.
It’s always the grass is greener on other sides , wife is a teacher , she earns way way lesser in Bay Area ... luckily we can survive based on my tc ... there are other things to life other than TC
For starters, if you want a relationship then don’t talk about TC. Secondly, if you want to date or marry someone just for TC, then it’s not a relationship.
Are you married?
No but I do not talk about TC in my relationship. Now people talk about Bay Area costs and surviving here with low TC would be tough. I agree. But that shouldn’t be the sole purpose to be in a relationship. Before people complain about me saying I do not know anything, my TC is 265k and my girlfriend’s TC is 65k. She’s on product marketing. So yeah I stopped worrying about it. If I need more TC to survive in Bay Area, then rather than pushing my gf to earn more TC, I would work my ass off to get more TC and take good care of her.
TC shouldn’t even come up. We talk about “our” earnings and “our” expenses, irrespective of who pays
OP read this again and if you don't understand read this post till you do.
H: 430K, 6 YOE, W: 170K, 2.5 YOE
You guys are killing it 👍
Who asked for this info?
100k with 3 yrs is pretty good compared to 180k for 15 yrs. wifey spending 4 years raising kids is worth more than any tc in market. Are u husband or wife?
I am W. The total year of exp are counted even including the irrelevant exp prior in these arguments. The MBA degree is totally wrong investment because I am just at “break even” TC now, according to his theory and COL in bay. He was expecting the degree as an override with 100k at 2016
Is he like conservative or easily fancied to shiny objects?
I'm sorry but you have a very shitty husband
Does husband have stock compensation as well?
Not at this company, even if he does, he would want to keep that in his own piggy bank, same as bonuses
Doesn’t matter, half of that is yours, if it comes to that. Problem is if he uses that to buy stuff just for himself like fancy cars or sugar babies
H with 205k at 15 yoe is nothing. Folks with couple of years of experience make that much these days. It looks like H needs to step up! W making 100+ seems pretty good to me
Textbook example of feminist hypocrisy
What the fuck does TC have to do with anything? Husband sounds like a massive shitbag.
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What went wrong
15 years age gap Man she might have got a better sugar daddy with better tc
If OP is bringing TC to discuss relationship issues you're (OP) failing with your marriage. Relationship isn't about competing TC and matching offers lol.
You made a valid point - competing TC. It was not something to begin with but being redirected this way. Not sure how. If either Tc gap or age gap was the issue, the relationship would not start. But in fights, TC and age gap are the guns pointing each other