I am 29 and time is running out!
There is so much I want to do in life, and I realized I am running out of time already. I am not yet well established in my career (my current company is good in terms of work and work culture, but pays me peanuts). I am not sure if I want to stay on the east coast forever, which delays my plans to buy a house (not that I have enough money for it either). I ain't in love yet, so not sure how long I can wait before I get married (yes, you guessed it right, I am Indian). There are things I want to learn and thinking I am in my late 20s is killing me already. Anyone who was in this situation has any advice to offer?
That’s because you are comparing yourself with others of the same age but are more successful. That leads to a confirmation bias. 29 is still young. Plenty of time to achieve a lot of things. Life doesn’t end at 30. In a lot of cases, it starts at 30. Chin up and LeetCode away my friend...
It definitely feels like it will end at 30. I only got a few months and everything I want wouldn't be possible in that time.
Why do you sound like you’re dying? If you think 30 is the end, you’re lying Better yourself, get some perspective Quit being negative, lot of time to live!
I’m 14 and Yes your life is over. Throw in the towel.
I don't care about what kids have to say.
Go further east.
Who you marry, is the single biggest determinant of your happiness. All the others you mentioned pale in comparison. Spend time interacting with more Indian women, so that you get a better understanding of what you want. When you meet that arranged marriage girl/family, you'll know if she's the right one.
How would I know? I don't even know what I should ask her/her family.
Look at 40+ year old families around you that you consider good marriages, you might have understand what works what doesn't work. Make those trips to India to meet them if needed.
I bet this guy wants a white girl.
No. Too much cultural difference.
I am not into them either
From experience, yes they do. Just don’t be pathetic and the playing field is pretty fair.
I think you need to chill out. Many many people who married before you and had kids already are feeling like they rushed into things and married the wrong person. The grass is always greener on the other side.
They do?
Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and your anxiety subsides. In the end, who really gives a shit about what everyone else is doing? You’ll literally always be pissed off with that mindset. Always someone that’s better than you.
Start working out, helps you feel about yourself, may be helps you in your girl search as well... Do things you love... Take one thing at a time, change your job
Take it from someone who had her first life/age crisis at 20 😂: Chill. Get comfortable with yourself. What is your passion in life? Focus on YOU. Only you have to live with yourself you whole life. Is career more important? Set goals and make it a priority. Is building a family more important? Set goals and make it a priority. Most people who try both at the same, fail. On a personal note, I am very happy I followed my heart and didn’t settle down until I met the man of my dreams at 33. I am 36 now and expecting our first child. If you think you’ll have less energy as 35+ you’re seriously doing something wrong, I am healthier than ever (also my priorities to work out more and work less have changed since my 20s plus I realized I can’t work 80 hour weeks and think I can be healthy) the only thing getting worse is hangovers, but who goes club hopping every weekend anyway at 35. To sum up, you’ve got to strategize your life and set goals that are true to yourself and not based on what you “should do” or are “expected to”. Be strong and live your true calling. BR, Dr Phil
Good advice, congratulations on your first child.
This is the best advice. I’m 33 and having another kid, I don’t think it’s a big deal Edit: and congratulations!
Man or woman? H1B?
Doesn't matter, my feelings aren't governed by my gender
It's not about feelings. If woman, there are extra complications like biological clock, which you should fit in the equations if you want to do proper planning. I take it that you 're a man.