I joined as a new grad in January and burned myself out trying to earn a GE. I began having daily stomachaches, headaches, and diarrhea, and ended up with an EE. I cried for days after getting my rating and have been falling deeper and deeper into depression ever since. I feel like I've hit rock bottom: It sometimes takes me days to respond to messages, and my output has been low-quality even though I think about work 24/7 and have been unable to sleep because of it. I keep self-sabotaging and I don't know how to stop. While I've seen various people take leaves for their mental health, I still worry about the stigma and about my job security since 1) I've only had one half here, 2) I've been letting down my teammates lately, 3) I'm in a non-tech role, and 4) my manager doesn't care about me. I don't even know if I care about myself these days: I haven't been consistently brushing my teeth, showering, or eating. Can someone who's been here advise me on how to get out?
Leave that company and find some hobbies
Find and speak to a therapist. Having a place to talk about these problems will be extremely beneficial. The majority of top-performers that I know have therapists and say it was one of the best decisions they ever made.
I feel you man, sorry about this. It is my first half here as an E6 but I am so stressed out. My work productivity is close to 0 since I am tired all the time. I sleep less than 4h/day, cant stop thinking about work but cant be productive due to the lack of sleep.
Is FB work culture like this or it’s individual specific? Quite curious
A bit of both.
There is life beyond the job. It’s good to try to succeed but the cost of this is not worth it. Why don’t you take a couple days off and regroup and prioritize your work items and knock them off.
Get a puppy if you don’t have one, especially helps a lot if you don’t have a partner. Pick up a sport and sweat it out. Work out helps , Trust me
OP will starve the puppy too
What's GE and what's EE
Perf rating. Exceeds Expectations Greatly Exceeds Expectations
EE seems to be good right?
A bit of advice on trying for GE, it's very unrealistic to explicitly target and expect to get GE because it depends on way too many factors including how your teammates perform and your managers "perception". I think trying to hit EE and hitting EE consistently is more worthwhile and rewarding in the long run and you will probably hit a couple of GE's when luck decides to visit.
+1 targeting GE is a recipe for madness for most people
First comment. Had (and sometimes still have) similar stuff. Medication helped start recovery. Now a multivitamin every morning, reduced sugar and melatonin at 9 PM (I like to fall asleep around 12) helped. A timeline for super basic stuff (including brushing and everything small) can help. Sleep and if you feel up to it a workout, eating less somehow has the effect of making you feel fuller and happier and have more energy. Also, check hormones and thyroid at the doc. The job (I know this is blind) does not matter. Try to focus on leaning things that will help you in the next job. Not being happy at a job isn’t your fault. It’s more of just being in the wrong one. Good luck!! Tc 🥜
What happens if you aim for only MA? Do you get fired as IC3? Is rating worth it if you are sacrificing your mental or physical health? Do you have a mentor? If your manager don't care about you, can't you change team after some time?
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I don’t know the answer, but I want you to know that I’m going through the same thing. There are others, you aren’t alone in this. I was feeling like this at my last company, so I moved here thinking it would be better. But it’s not, it’s the same. Hope it gets better.
Lol 😂 how come you expected to be better ?
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through the same thing but am grateful that we at least know we're not alone. I'm going to try to eat something healthy tonight and get a bit of work done - rooting for you too!