Misc.Aug 6, 2018
Microsoftdeadpan

I have a plan to destroy FB.

The social network is actually going to get better, but the stock price is going to crater. First, I'll find some crazy-expensive toys, like electric skateboards and electric surfboards that cost many thousands of dollars, and I'll set up a fake company to "make" them for $35 or so. Then I'll sucker a bunch of retailers into selling them online, and advertising them on Facebook at $200. Huge target market! Huge profit margins! That part should be really easy. I can just recycle images and videos from the actual manufacturers' web sites. Then, my retailers to flood Facebook with catchy ads for impossibly cheap electric toys. The people who make the real things have already spent a fortune on images and video, so as I said, this will be easy. Then, the orders come in. And the products... well... injection molded plastic and a wind-up motor should suffice. It won't work as advertised, but that's not my problem. The retailers get to deal with the angry customers. I'll be long gone. When the shit hits the fan, it'll be far worse than the fake-news thing. Facebook doesn't care where people get their news from anyway. And it will be worse than the Cambridge Analytica thing. Facebook users don't really care about privacy - I mean look at all of the data vacuums disguised as personality tests. "Give us access to your Facebook feed and we'll say something funny about you!" Boom. Millions of people trade their life story for something silly to post that day. No, this will be worse because it will teach Facebook users to assume that anything advertised on Facebook is a scam. When word gets out that thousands of people were duped into sending $200 to offshore companies that sent worthless crap in return, and that Facebook had no idea this was going on? People just won't click on ads. So advertisers won't buy ads. So the rest of us can spend more time interacting with our friends. Phase one is already underway. You're welcome.

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Apple ovJv02 Aug 6, 2018

What did you smoke?

Kronos ddssa Aug 6, 2018

I bet it was weed.

Amazon Shimmer Aug 6, 2018

I’d pay $5 to see you execute this. Half now, half later.

Microsoft deadpan OP Aug 6, 2018

All I ask is that you order one of these when it shows up in your Facebook feed. https://gifteduct.com/products/2018-new-electric-surfboard-1

Daimler Whowhatwhy Aug 6, 2018

R u ok

Microsoft Kemw Aug 6, 2018

Genius. Not.

Microsoft sqiF24 Aug 6, 2018

Microsoft Tier 1 Aug 6, 2018

Isn’t this exactly how Facebook ads have always worked?

Amazon ∆∆∆ Aug 6, 2018

So you're going to turn Facebook into eBay?

PayPal keytalent Aug 6, 2018

It’s already getting there with market place and shit

Microsoft deadpan OP Aug 7, 2018

Yeah, Facebook is already making good progress on that front. This is really just about improving the feed, by discouraging advertisers, by discouraging ad clicks.

Dell Rorschach Aug 6, 2018

You work for Microsoft and have plans for FB? Why don’t you make some plan for Windows 10? It’s a pile of shit. It’s totally unusable.

Amazon ∆∆∆ Aug 6, 2018

I think the plan is to turn Windows 10 into a monthly subscription service. If you want it to work you need to upgrade for $9.99/mo. It will also use that money to boost Azure sales so Microsoft can pay reporters to say how huge their cloud is and how it's going to stomp AWS.

Dell Rorschach Aug 6, 2018

And count that revenue under cloud. Then hire an army of trolls on linkedIn who will post every 2 seconds Azure beats Aws :)

Pinterest UhmWho? Aug 6, 2018

I honestly stopped reading on the second sentence. Can someone summarize what he is on about?

Lam Research duckflow Aug 6, 2018

Make Facebook ads for shit products, people buy products and hate them, never trust fb ads again. Fb die

Pinterest UhmWho? Aug 6, 2018

Lol

Yahoo cmz700 Aug 6, 2018

Hold on , let me sell my position first , market opening at 6 pst with Robinhood allowing pre market for all Solid plan though