I have one too...I ruined his career

Undisclosed / Other databish
Feb 12, 2018 89 Comments

So I have a #metoo story. I haven’t shared it much because after consequences of speaking up...it was like I was a terrible person for reporting it. I was young, just got a promotion to what I thought was an amazing job. I was so excited! There was a more senior specialist and as part of my training I would shadow him or we would have to go to off site locations to represent the company. First time was out of town trip and he upgraded his rental car, insisted we drive together and then called me at night while in my hotel room. Another time we were traveling he recommended we get the honeymoon suite. Wtaf? I let all this go. I was able to keep him at bay, it was uncomfortable but I knew we wouldn’t always have to work so closely.

Finally it got too much. One afternoon he came to my desk, stood behind me...he rubbed my shoulders and his body against my shoulders...I was seated facing my monitor, he was standing behind me. My cube had high walls, anyway, I brought my shoulders up and pulled away and told him I was not comfortable. I told him I was leaving for lunch cause I needed to fill my car up. After I said that he sat on my desk and asked me this, “wouldn’t it be cool if you were the gas tank and I was the gas pump and I could dispense my fluid in you?” I was shocked and immediately discussed the situation with my manager. She loved him, everyone loved him. He was my trainer, supposed to be my mentor. Apparently I ruined his career and life by reporting what happened. I was naive and didn’t think people behaved that way...well some do and it was a lesson I shouldn’t have had to learn. #metoo

Edit - to add that this was not at my current employer, this was a while ago. I was a young 21 year old trying to start my career when this happened.

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TOP 89 Comments
  • Google / Eng tropicthun
    > wouldn't it be cool if you were the gas tank and I was the gas pump and I could dispense my fluid in you

    Jesus Christ what a fucking moron. Good on you girl, don't beat yourself up about doing the right thing.
    Feb 12, 2018 0
  • Microsoft / Eng ShortBTC
    You did the right thing.
    Feb 12, 2018 0
  • Cisco LoTech
    I dont think you ruined, he ruined it by ruining company ethics
    Feb 12, 2018 2
    • Airbnb Famb
      yup
      Feb 12, 2018
    • Undisclosed Bubbles🌬
      Ruining company ethics is a different topic as in this case it was the ethics code that was violated.
      Feb 26, 2018
  • Thumbtack thumback
    I hate that they made you feel like you ruined HIS career. It's not your fault
    Feb 12, 2018 2
    • Google Uvor31
      Exactly that's like blaming a cop for a criminal going to jail.
      Feb 12, 2018
    • There's a saying, "Companies don't fire people. People fire themselves."
      Feb 13, 2018
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Aetna / Other databish
      OP
      Umm dude he said it. It was ridiculous and disturbing. He tried to act like he was making a joke.
      Feb 12, 2018
    • Amazon Goin
      One guy who would have been my direct supervisor said to me in, the context of trying to get me to accept the job, “I want to fuck you like a man wants to fuck a woman.” It was equally dumb and it really happened. I believe it.
      Feb 12, 2018
  • Adobe / Eng 83hx702jns
    Creeps like that deserve to have their careers ruined. How gross.
    Feb 12, 2018 0
  • Microsoft / Eng Oldyella
    How do you know you ruined his career and life? What happened to him?
    Feb 12, 2018 7
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Undisclosed Bubbles🌬
      Sounds like he is mentally ill and needs treatment
      Feb 26, 2018
  • Cisco sn00
    I am a guy and this actually happened to me as well...the massaging and open touching and fondling by the (male) project manager. This was years ago. They let me go a couple months later when I didn’t respond to his advances. And so began my career. :-/
    Feb 12, 2018 6
    • Cisco sn00
      Wait sorry I didn’t mean to imply OP did anything wrong. She did the right thing. I did not.
      Feb 12, 2018
    • Cisco / Product baremetal
      @sn00, I was referring to OP’s ex co-workers who kind of made her feel that she ruined someone’s career.
      Feb 12, 2018
  • Aetna / Other databish
    OP
    It was gross...I was never made to feel like reporting it was the right thing...but it was so out of line, I had to report it. I’d let him know the behavior was not appropriate, but he did not stop. He was the funny guy in the office...even my manager was sad he had to resign.
    Feb 12, 2018 1
    • Cisco / Product baremetal
      You did the right thing 👍!!
      Feb 12, 2018
  • Oracle / Eng M.Zackerbg
    If someone talks to my wife like that I'd make him feed on fluids for the rest of his life.
    Feb 12, 2018 0

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