IBS is ruining my life (and limiting my career options)
I've been dealing with IBS for the last 10 years. I can handle it on most days but days like yesterday show me how much my life sucks and I just need to vent.
I'm in my mid 20s and I can't go anywhere without checking if there's any bathrooms. Parts of my brain are always busy trying to locate the next one. Being stuck in a car (or any other place without a bathroom) for too long feels like hell and makes me panic.
Yesterday I happened to be in a car and was stuck in traffic. After being stuck for about 30 minutes I realized I couldn't take this for another 30 minutes and stopped at a restaurant where I thankfully could take a dump in peace. In case you're not familiar with IBS - it sucks, it's random and there's not too many ways to control it. In my case, I usually feel the urge to go whenever I'm stuck like yesterday, even if I used the bathroom 30 minutes before - I definitely wouldn't have had to go (at least for another few hours) if there hadn't been any traffic.
I'm in therapy and I've seen specialists but nothing really helps. I got promoted recently, I made some progress towards personal goals etc. but all of it doesn't really matter because at the end of the day my self worth is still at 0 because of this shit.
The only reason I can handle a relatively normal life (if "normal" means rarely doing anything remotely exciting) is because I can get to and from work with bathrooms nearby when I'm on the train.
My management chain has asked me if I'd be interested in transferring to the Bay Area and hell yeah, sign me up except I can't get my shit together (literally, lol). I'm delivering good work and I'm sure moving to the US would help my career (as well as personal) growth, but I just can't in this condition.
I can't make it to offsites, I can't make it to team dinners in the US and I always rely on Caltrain or bikes when I have to get anywhere - I'd rather walk (or bile) 3 miles than drive a car over that distance.
Days like yesterday make me realize how much my life sucks. I can't have any relationships, I can't do trips to exciting places when I'm on a business trip in the US (I'd love to see Yosemite, but there's just no way), I can't take flying lessons and on some days I can't even do something as basic as taking the car for 20 miles without almost shitting myself.
I don't expect anyone to read all of this, but in case anyone has any advice (yes, I've tried FODMAP) I'd very much appreciate to hear that.
Sorry for all the self-pitying, I'm just worn down after living with this for a decade and needed to vent.