I’m a shitty engineer

Dec 10, 2021 41 Comments

This is a long post so buckle up folks
Also my current company is not up to date

Just realized I’m a shitty engineer. I pushed myself through school because I thought I would grow to like it. I worked at high profile faang companies, but I sucked there and feel like I underperformed. I hate it, I always feel like I don’t belong.

My profile is impressive on paper but it all feels like a lie. I’ve interviewed and got offers with Palantir, Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Cisco, Facebook, Jane Street, HRT, Cloudflare, Snowflake, etc based on my personality and ability to convey complex technical concepts clearly. I’ve worked at and interned with the companies above. But when the coding round comes along I can’t focus. I can’t code for shit. I struggle with LC and my mind wanders off everytime.It doesn’t help that I suffer from severe ADHD and don’t take any meds. I feel like if I join it’s only a matter of time before I get piped

I want to be a good engineer. But I think it’s time to call it for what it is and try a different career path which I am more likely to perform at a level which I am happy with.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I am really good at communication, cognitive ability, and have deep theoretical understanding of Computer Science concepts and technologies.

yoe 3 years
TC 182k

41

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 TOP 41 Comments
  • Box / Eng
    Drogon. D

    Go to company page Box Eng

     Drogon. D
    You got offers from all those places and work for L3Harris?
    Dec 10, 2021 10
    • VMware
      9ubt6fs3

      Go to company page VMware

      9ubt6fs3
      Is defense really low stress? Shoudn't you stay at defense considering the issues you mentioned? I myslef is also not a good engineer and thinking of joining defense tech. Atleast they don't fire for low performance.
      Dec 10, 2021
    • New
      DXQO08

      New

      DXQO08
      This is classic ADHD..and the post was so relatable....we want something which is stress free, but then it becomes boring and the lack of pressure causes even further fall in productivity and increase in the level of guilt. Working in FAANG causes immense stress and an imposter syndrome.
      We know that we can do so much better at a broader concept level, but somewhat suck at being detail oriented due to lack of focus. Life is not straight forward for ADHDers.
      Dec 12, 2021
  • VMware
    roids

    Go to company page VMware

    roids
    You sound perfect for sales engineering. Have to understand and be able to explain technical concepts but not really execute anything
    Dec 10, 2021 0
  • Box / Eng
    Drogon. D

    Go to company page Box Eng

     Drogon. D
    Scrum master
    Dec 10, 2021 0
  • Twitter / Eng
    🐦4lyfe

    Go to company page Twitter Eng

     🐦4lyfe
    Go into engineering management
    Dec 10, 2021 0
  • What did i just read
    Dec 10, 2021 2