I'm unhappy

Just looking for advice from people who have been in these circumstances.

I'm an SDE.

At work, I always feel like I'm the dumbest person in the room. I'm not aggressive, so the things that I believe need to be driven never get driven. I'm really bad at persuading people of my views and debating. I buckle under scrutiny and pressure. I usually seek compromise in favor of confrontation, and if someone else feels strongly enough and carries a debate long enough, I'll drop it and go along with it. I'm insecure.

How I do at work influences how I feel about my life. Failures make me feel like shit even when I'm not at work. Successes make me feel like I'm on top of the world. Validation makes me feel like I'm on top of the world.

How do I get better?

In life, I don't want to live where I live right now. I'm not in the Bay Area or Seattle (thank fuck), but I feel like I want to live and explore other cities while I'm still in my twenties. However, I can't go anywhere else because my mom makes very little, lives alone, and I need to be there for her.

All my friends and family are here, but I feel like my life has stagnated. I'm not feeling as close to my friends as like I once used to. I have no idea where to meet girls to date barring bars and clubs where I get lucky every now and then but it's always just a one-night thing.

I'm always out of energy on the weekdays because working and commuting takes up the whole day. By the time I'm back from work and gym, I'm too spent to do anything else.

I just feel stuck. It's like my life is going nowhere.