Invisible

Zscaler YipS25
Feb 12, 2018 35 Comments

Earlier in my career I dealt with a lot of inappropriate advances, drunken grab ass, and sexualized comments. I’ve been compared to porn stars, pressured to go to strip clubs, and even roofed (drugged) by my colleagues. This was all deplorable. But now that I am older and not an object of desire, I thought people would start to take me more seriously for my professional abilities and opinions. Just the opposite. I might as well be invisible, and when I try to distinguish myself I get sidelined, left out and told to talk less and tow the line. It shatters my confidence and makes me think the only way around it is to start my own company.

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TOP 35 Comments
  • The truth about human sexuality is when young, women are attractive and they attract all kinds of men, some who are deplorable (or you think they are)

    When you get older, you don't attract attention of any guy, including deplorable men.

    I think older generations had it right. Men and women need to accept that we are different and learn to live with it.

    This is really a western world problem. Go to Brazil and see how gracefully women handle their sexuality, even if unwanted. They learned natural human behavior early in their life and learned to shrug off unwanted advances.

    Men in those countries learn too. They can flirt as much as they want, right on the street, check women out. But there's a boundary and its obvious.

    Western society got fucked when they tried to deny what we are as humans.
    Feb 12, 2018 7
    • Wow. Glad you found it amusing.

      The reason I asked is because Asian countries are all different. Women in Japan have a different experience than in China, than in North Korea, than in Sri Lanka, than in Hong Kong, than in Singapore, than in India.

      I think you'd do great if you start looking at things rationally than getting ticked off.

      Now, as calmly as you can, which Asian country are you from?
      Feb 12, 2018
    • Microsoft lyVf73
      I’m very well aware there are different cultures in different countries. I just don’t get your point. You haven’t told me where did you get the idea of Brazilian women embracing sexuality even if it is unwanted. And to be clear, you did’t ask, you assumed or guessed (at the best case) and it was just amusing how you keep getting things wrong. I was very calm when I replied back to you. So another wrong assumption. I’m starting to doubt if you are intelligent enough for me to spend my time to talk to you.
      Feb 12, 2018
  • New EAzC08
    Do it. Start that company. What are you waiting for.
    Feb 12, 2018 0
  • AT&T / Eng
    DDM2K

    AT&T Eng

    PRE
    Optum, Windstream, AT&T, Verizon
    DDM2Kmore
    Complain about a behavior and then complain when it goes away?

    Sounds like you’re complaining about not having everything to your way.

    #struckdown
    Feb 12, 2018 7
    • Flagged by the community.

    • Undisclosed SRfM22
      @DDM2K yea feel you. You work at AT&T...so I feel your frustration and despair that things won’t change forever. Especially after how you describe your team culture, I feel so so bad for you. I strongly recommend you to find a better workplace than the one you described.
      Feb 14, 2018
  • Adobe / Eng 83hx702jns
    Hmm...ladies aren't usually compared to porn stars just based on appearance. Regardless, those are some deplorable experiences and I'm sorry there are so many immoral pigs amongst the male race.
    Feb 12, 2018 4
    • Sprinklr hope4us
      You can disagree all you want. But you're probably a male and haven't had the experience. And if you're a woman, well then I don't know what your experience and environment have been, but it's been vastly different from mine and I do not act nor do I look like a pornstar. Nor have I been compared to one to my knowledge. But I know women who have had comments made about them and they're not all deserved. I agree that some are. I'm just saying that it doesn't take much for that to come to mind for some people. That's just how their minds work.
      Feb 12, 2018
    • Adobe / Eng 83hx702jns
      I am male, and your last sentence is the saddest truth. Not sure how we as a society repair the damage the porn culture of the past 2 decades has inflicted on male cognitive behaviors. But something has to change, the road we are heading down is very destructive to men and women alike.
      Feb 12, 2018
  • Microsoft oWpC55
    The entire #metoo movement is about women being sick of sucking it up. Women from every country have sucked it up our whole lives and it’s time to end the tolerance of inappropriate behavior and the disrespect. I was sexually assaulted by my step brother and in the interest of not hurting my step father, my mother asked that I suck it up and stay silent. I stayed silent when my married boss kept saying sexual things to me thinking maybe I asked for it or something and why rock the boat? I was date raped at 15 because I was passed out drunk. I have never told a soul that until this very second. I have sucked it up for 51 years and I would like to say I am done, but society isn’t that quick to change, so I am sure I will continue to cope with more than I should.
    Feb 12, 2018 0
  • Microsoft J0lyr0ger
    Its a mans world, always will be- but isnt what is causing these issues you face, its a lack of morality across the entire western civ.. this is the root cause.
    Feb 12, 2018 1
    • Microsoft
      yMcg47

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Amicitiae nostrae memoriam spero sempiternam fore
      yMcg47more
      Why do people automatically attribute this to being a woman?

      People ignore me at work, too. They assume I am an idiot, even though I have a PhD from a reputable school and more relevant experience than anyone else on the team. When they need help, they go to me in private. In meetings, they dismiss my ideas... then later claim as their own.

      I am a man. This has happened in many companies.

      You’re confusing asshole coworkers with misogynists.

      It’s not a man’s world. It’s an assholes’ world. Look around. Assholery works. It’s a vicious cycle.
      Feb 16, 2018
  • New / Ops wetknight
    Do it and be cuthroat to your former bosses. Steal their best people and make a better product. Don't get caught up in the money, be the example in your industry. You will thank me.
    Feb 12, 2018 0
  • Intuit SKc9/c_4
    I would only start a business if you think you have an idea that could succeed.
    Feb 12, 2018 3
    • Undisclosed SRfM22
      @SKc9/c_4 so smart! I never thought about that!! You have so sophisticated thought as your nick name shows 🤟
      Feb 14, 2018
    • Intuit SKc9/c_4
      OP wanted to start a business because the corporate world sucked, not because they believed they had a good idea to work on. It seemed like they were doing it for the wrong reasons. I thought that was obvious, but I should have stated it up front.

      Of course you want your business to succeed if you quit your job.
      Feb 16, 2018
  • New EAzC08
    I bet you are still thinking if you should start that company or not. And that’s why you have failed.
    Feb 13, 2018 2
    • Sprinklr hope4us
      Way to encourage her, jeez.
      Feb 13, 2018
    • Tableau task
      Why do you assume that she's still thinking? A woman can only think but can't act? Be careful, you might find out she's the one that's hiring you some day.
      Feb 13, 2018
  • Zendesk vwEy13
    This is so sad and frustrating that there is nothing that can be done
    Feb 13, 2018 0

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