Is it worth it to move to USA with family?

Oct 23, 2019 116 Comments

I recently got selected to facebook US from India and I am currently trying to figure out if it is worth it to move to US with a wife and a kid (expecting). I understand if you are single, it is a no brainer.

Both my wife and I work here and make a lot of savings. Considering the expenses in the bay area, if only I end up earning, the increase in savings might not be substantial. Internal transfer at my wife's company is one option, but it would mean daycare for the baby which we are very sceptical about.

The points that I see going for US are:
1. Better work and career prospects with Facebook. Like it or not, bay area is the center of technological revolution and if you want to do great work, this is the place to be. There are always exceptions, but more often than not, this is the case.
2. Better infrastructure
3. Low pollution
4. Potential for high earnings, if both of us work

The points I see going for India are:
1. Being closer to family and friends
2. Kid will grow up among family, instead of at daycare. Either of our parents would stay with us and take care of the baby while we go to work.
3. Good savings considering both of us work and as India has very low cost of living
4. Can afford third world luxuries like house maid etc
5. Its your home after all. I have been to US and Europe before, for about a year on the whole, and I couldn't help but feel that I was in the minority and that I am living in someone else's country and thereby limiting my freedom. Maybe its just my feeling.

Are my points valid? Would you add anything to those? Would you disagree with any of them? Anyone else in a similar boat before? What did you decide and how? What do you recommend? Please comment.

I think there are many people here who emigrated to US from India. If you can impart me with your wisdom, I would be very grateful.

My current TC: 65L
YOE: 9
Wife current TC: 35L
YOE: 6

FB TC: 319 including sign on

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TOP 116 Comments
  • From every angle except one (closer to family): The answer is yes. Yes, you should move
    Oct 23, 2019 8
    • Amazon SfPC44
      Also H4 EAD can go away anytime and is hanging by a thread. With that TC in India you're doing fairly great. If your kid is going to be born in India he's going to have an uncertain future in the US
      Know this- incoming Indians aren't going to get get green cards for at least a few decades because of the long GC queue and your kid can't stay as a dependent with you for more than 18 yrs.

      If me and my wife were earning your TC in India I won't consider moving ever ! 300k in Bay area puts you in the middle class (120k is considered poor) whereas with 1cr in India you're more like top 0.1%
      You can live a better life/travel/be close to family without compromising on TC
      Oct 23, 2019
    • OP In that case I would recommend not moving. Stay put and grow there. All the best!
      Oct 23, 2019
  • SmartThings Qzxwas
    Wife will suffer, kid will suffer even more. With all the money, 2-3 years down the lane, you will think you are in a deep shiet hole which you can’t come out. And there are not many companies that pay as well as Facebook, very few would do.. probably 10(just a number). And hence you can’t change often.
    With current immigration system so screwed up in the US, it’s absolutely not worth it.
    Spouse visa another big head ache, your wife would start cursing you. I had to go through all the shit for 3 years. Totally not worth it.
    Kids would grow up alone, they wouldn’t learn socializing like how they do in India. Education here is not as good as it is in India until they reach high school. I would recommend kids coming to the US for high school or college; that’s when they get the real worth.
    65L+35L in India > 319k in the US looking at the bigger picture. I and my wife would go back today for that kinda offer. US was worth every penny until a decade ago, not anymore.
    Oct 23, 2019 19
    • Microsoft Tattle
      @YOiW43 See that’s where you start seeing the quality of life drop. You can afford quite a few things in India in your salary but after moving you plan to live frugally. No maids, all work including washing, ironing, cleaning has to be done by you. Now, sounds like you are already on the move so all this is moot but do yourself a favor and get a car there. The rain and cold makes it impossible to use public transportation and you will be miserable.
      Oct 23, 2019
    • Microsoft / Eng
      YOiW43

      Microsoft Eng

      PRE
      Amazon
      YOiW43more
      Thank you guys, for breaking the tinted glasses i was wearing. Looks like it's going to be hell lot of journey in Vancouver. 😅
      Oct 23, 2019
  • Zillow Group sofaking
    First of all congrats on the offer. You actually have very real and valid concerns, so I’ll be serious. First off I’m not from India, but I’m from another country and you are 100% spot on with all of those points. (I have kids too.) It’s a major sacrifice either way, and no matter how hard people try, the cons don’t go away. You just have to deal with it, and accept the fact that you made the best decision for your family.

    One major pro for the US is that depending on your circumstances back home, your kid might have a much higher chance of receiving a better education, and/or a stress-free childhood. The rat-race mentality is less prevalent in the US, although it still exists in a more inconspicuous way. It also means that your kid is going to grow up as an American, which can either be a pro or a con depending on the person.

    Last thing to consider is that if you don’t like the US, you can always move back to India, but the reverse may not be true, or as easy. Your English seems great though, so I suspect you’re in a better position than most to make that happen.

    Unfortunately I gave you more things to think about instead of giving you an answer, but I’m just here to confirm that your concerns are all very real. Probably more real than you realize. A lot of us are still dealing with them 10-15 years into moving to the US. For some of us, it will always be a fact of life. All it takes is one person walking down the street yelling “go back to your country” to remind you that you are nothing but a passer-by here. It’s worse for your kid, because it will feel like they don’t belong in their own home.
    Oct 23, 2019 2
    • Walmart apsp
      OP
      Thank you for your perspective. Definitely, a lot more for me to consider :)
      Oct 23, 2019
    • Expedia Group fly_EG
      I agree with most of what you are saying except for the education. Elementary education in US doesn't compare with Indian education as in it's very weak. If you are planning to move back in 3-5 years make sure your kid is going to extra classes here to catch-up on math and reading and Hindi or they will be behind the Indian kids.
      Oct 23, 2019
  • Citadel Securities wagecuck3
    I think the most serious issue is that if your kid grows up in the US and you don't get a green card by the time they turn 21, then they'll age out and will have to go through the whole F-1/H-1B pipeline all over again, or go back to India, a country they've never lived in. I wouldn't want to put my kid through that. If you have a plan to work in the US for 5 years and then go back, or settle in Canada, it could be ok. But the longer you're in the US, the less you're going to want to leave...
    Oct 23, 2019 0
  • In order to understand pay comparison. Multiply current India PPP with USD you will be making (before taxes). This gives you estimate of your TC in India vs US. PPP is currently at 17.5 Rs per USD . Example: if you are making $100,000 (Before taxes) then it's equivalent to 17.5 lakh Rs (Before taxes)
    Oct 23, 2019 4
  • Amazon Yo Yo !
    Regrets for not doing is always > Regrets for doing
    Oct 23, 2019 0
  • Broadcom Ltd. Tock Han
    Dont move. 1Cr salary is equivalent to 1M salary in Bay area. If you earn 350K it will help you to meet your ends plus some saving. Imagine 35L in India. Wife will be devastated unless planning for child as life in US is tough and lonely. Child will get US citizenship if that is what you desired. Heard FB wlb can be notorious. H1b hassles doesnt worth it nowadays. Current H1b are moving on from US and others are stuck as they have built life here and they can’t give up because of family. Only move if you have EB1 gc guaranteed with high enough $.
    Oct 23, 2019 3
    • If choose to return, OP can save 70-75lakhs easily after taxes vs. 1 crore salary (savings not more than 50 lakes after taxes) in India. Can’t go wrong. If long term, it is still substantially more savings. Standard of living might be better in India on PPP terms but quality of life is questionable.
      Oct 23, 2019
    • Walmart apsp
      OP
      @broadcom A child is already on the way and will be born in India. Agree with the wife part in general. I already see her suffering in her maternity without work. :)
      @google job is in menlo park
      @zs you are right about the savings in india.
      Oct 23, 2019
  • Amazon rockNrol
    Don’t move we have enuf ppl here already
    Oct 23, 2019 2
    • Goldman Sachs / Eng pssS53
      Idiot
      Oct 23, 2019
    • Microsoft GdXH25
      Is that what FB told you when they didn't offer you a job?
      Oct 23, 2019
  • Expedia Group fly_EG
    You are thinking along the right points. I would add to your cons list

    Impact to wife's job and career prospects. Unless she moves to US with a job she loves it will be very hard for her to find something she likes and her career might get hampered long term.
    Long path to citizenships. H1b is a pain and the spouse visa H4 is at the whims of politicians in terms of whether they allow authorization to work or now. Getting a green card could take decades. And moving between companies with H1B has become more challenging under Trump than ever.
    Life is hard and lonely atleast initially. Family is far so can't just do a quick trip during holidays celebrations and even funerals. Interaction with people gets very limited. Imagine your doorbell almost never rings unless you put. Alot of effort to build a social circle and get to a state where you are casual.
    Lots of manual work that Indians are not used to. Not only all the cleaning and washing and tidying that will become infitie with a new baby but also when you buy your own house, fixing a dishwasher, leaky faucet. Unless you were very handy in India these will seem like big challenges and help not available at a quick call. I have been living in US with 2 kids for the last 10 years and wouldn't recommend you to move here.
    Oct 23, 2019 2
    • Walmart apsp
      OP
      Many thanks for your reply.

      Wife's career is something we have to plan for, I agree.
      Not intending to stay in US in the long term. 3-5 years is the timeframe we are thinking.
      Definitely not a handyman. :) But something I am willing to learn and be. Not underestimating the hardship of it though. Do you think it can be manageable?
      Oct 23, 2019
    • Intel mtbf
      3-5 years is what I hear from so many people moving. That doesn’t happen. Visa / GC is going to be burdensome, I would not move if I were you.
      Oct 23, 2019
  • Tableau krxi15
    You make 1 crore a year and you want to come here and live like a common nobody?

    1cr can buy you a nanny, driver, cook and maid. Not even a 1 million TC in USA thinks of affording that. Stay there.

    350k in bay is poor. Wont even be able to afford a 2bhk in good school district.
    Oct 23, 2019 0

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