Don't get along with co-worker

May 25, 2021 9 Comments

Reaching out for the blind community as I want input. I have a coworker that I don't get along with, what's the best way to handle.

Relationship: We're both Sr Engineers, on different teams working on the same project. He and I are both 'unofficial' team leads as we officially got rid of that tittle 3 months ago program-wide. His team consumes a library my team produces, as well as uses some of the ADO pipelines and infrastructure that my team has produced and has become the defacto owner of. He is a competent programmer.

Behavior: He's nasty to me privately- on calls he will yell and curse - usually over technical issues that he blames my team for. In 'public' though, he'll act like nothing has happened between us. He sends passive aggressive emails looping management in to let them know that, for example a deployment pipeline isn't working or he's having trouble using a library component my team produces. He breaks our UAT testing environment regularly, waits for an email chain to emerge that includes management, and then sends an email explaining that he fixed it.

I've honestly thought of trying to change teams, projects, or companies to avoid this guy. Should I say something to my people manager? My approach has been to ignore his attitude and solve the problem when one exists. The thing is, his behavior is unchanged, and it bothers me.

What's the "right" way to handle this?

#advice #career #conflict

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TOP 9 Comments
  • IBM
    Keycaps

    Go to company page IBM

    Keycaps
    Ignore his private calls, and tell your manager. This is obviously not normal behavior.
    May 25, 2021 0
  • Alation
    F Loki

    Go to company page Alation

    F Loki
    Bring it up with you manager during 1:1
    May 25, 2021 0
  • don’t take calls, start an email chain include management, but if you are truly at fault then probably improve your performance. He is just taking advantage of your vulnerability. Whatever the case do it in emails and always public. he will burn to a crisp internally.
    May 25, 2021 0
  • Amazon
    akQz50

    Go to company page Amazon

    akQz50
    There is at least one a**hole at every job. Tell your manager, collect evidence against him in a document shared with your manager. Stay cool and professional, and ignore him as much as possible. He is an unhappy person and will eventually go away.
    May 25, 2021 0
  • Oracle
    Rinku1143

    Go to company page Oracle

    Rinku1143
    Call out his behavior. Sometimes people don't realise that they are the toxic element which everyone complains about.
    May 25, 2021 0