It's been 5 years to my marriage. We dated very shortly and got married. After marriage I saw a completely new man than he was before marriage. Meaning, less respectful, more authoritative as in I am his property, taking me for granted. I try to fix things by talking about it when everything calm down and by avoiding fights wherever I can(because I truly love him). Fast forward 3 years, I caught him sexting with his ex. Then I dig deeper, I found he is still in touch with her all 3 years even while we were together. I moved to my parents house and ask for divorce. He don't want to. He along with his whole family apologized for his deeds and ask me to come back. Seeing him crying and apologizing, I forgive and moved back. Then I got pregnant gave birth to a son. All going great. No complains. He has a desk job and , spent NOT even a single night outside. I thought he truly changed after accepting his mistake. Now our son is 2 years old, just an hour before I found accidentally he is still in touch (exchanged flirtatious message ) with her. I am in tears, not sure what to do. He is great father and now doing well as a husband too. But not able to understand why he is still in touch with her ex, exchanging such messages. Please advice, my mind is not working. I am not sure what I should do. Update1: I am really thankful for all the support and suggestions 🙏🏻 Update2: some people saying marriage is not slavery and should be allowed to do what he is doing. Just want to tell you that I am pretty open and easy to talk to person. I told him many times and in many ways my expectations (that I won't accept such behavior). I just want from him is clarity. Either let me go, or do what you promise. Just don't lie. Update3: reason for posting here is: 1)I was in pain, and have seen many wonderful people here, giving great advices to people in their tough time (except few noise and anomalies); 2) wanted to gain a perspective esp from men- why anyone do that. If you have a wife who loves and care for you. Still, What makes you do that? Divorce is tough, so trying to understand from others perspective, to get insight whether it is really needed. Update4: Please do NOT comment anymore. Seems like folks are not able to unsubscribe from this thread and it is spamming everyone who come forward to help with their suggestion/advice. I again thanks everybody for sharing their point of view. Update5: After some discussion with my husband, I decided to move on. I along with my son are living separate now. I won't able to provide much details on it, atleast for now. So kindly do not ask.
Ask him why he's still in touch with his ex. It sounds like he doesn't respect you, but people are complicated. Maybe it's just an escape for him or maybe he's unhappy. Have you tried couple's therapy?
Consider a throuple relationship. Problem solved. If she's nice, maybe you and she can get along. Also, I know a throuple relationship that a woman used to get out from her man. She set him up with another woman. They all were in a relationship together, then she bowed out. But you don't even need to bow out. Three is better than two sometimes.
I think you should really go talk to a reputed couples therapist and seek advice. Please don’t follow stupid random suggestions from this forums. I know you are in pain but life is complicated. People are complicated. Don’t throw away a relationship (and a child’s future) by just quiting. Show him tough love. How awesome and independent you are through tough situations. He should see that. Ask him if he really wants to invest in your relationship he should go through couples therapy with you. Relationships change if both of you engage with therapist live and he sees your side of things. Find a good therapist who can spend time. All the best.
No child's future is destroyed. The whole west has grown up with parents divorcing being a pretty normal phenomenon. Asian cultures, particularly in the Indian subcontinent, have put up with bullshit far too often and far too long. This psychotic mentality of winning back your love and staying in toxic relationships belongs to stupid Indian films that have utterly messed with people's minds. Women, especially, are the ones on the receiving end in these cultures. The asshole of a husband will cheat again and OP will once again find it even harder to leave. Folks need to grow up and understand that it's not cool to cheat just because you can.
I agree - this person needs therapy or atleast needs to feel the pain you are feeling
I would leave.
Rocket lawyer .com Make sure you collect some proof secretly
Frankly go to male strip club...have some fun... Take pics and show that mother fucker
One more excellent idea..... Blackmail him anonymously that you know all about him and you want money else you would inform his wife and entire family
Sorry to hear about it. Reconciliation is useless. You tried it. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Divorce the asshole and make him suffer paying you alimony. Call a lawyer, really. Nobody deserves this.
Do u love him? Does he love you? Just dont loose ur cool and express ur feelings. He needs to stop NOW else choose between ex or u.
Cause this worked the first time she left? Just divorce the pile of crap and move on. He's not going to stop cheating and your kid will eventually catch on as he is older. Just going to get worse as time goes on. Might as well try to find happiness elswhere. He obviously already is.
Nothing. I was feeling helpless and alone, so posted here for help. This is my first ever post, so may be that's why blind asked for tags. I tagged all other than my own company.
Lol