Losing Hope. Need help

Dec 7, 2019 156 Comments

Hi All,

I am a contractor QA at Google and have been trying hard for a full time PgM job. Tried applying at many companies and at few rejected after onsite. Applied at Google as well but I feel contractors are not given the fair chance. I recently appeared for two interviews at FB but did not make after onsite. All i need is an opportunity to prove myself, its been my dream and passion and today it hurts when i see it fading away. Its been an year since I have been trying but I never get a feedback or even an opportunity.
Sorry for the long post but I am loosing hope and need support from this beautiful community. Your encouragement and advice to achieve my dream job will be much appreciated.

Trolls: Please save ur time, you will not get any pleasure by mocking at someone who is already losing hope.

Thanks again to everyone.


Thank you everyone for your valuable thoughts and suggestions. I felt that there is a need to elaborate a bit about my background. I have been a project manager at an Indian MNC for over 10 years, handled multiple projects and teams of over 50 members. When I got my H1B, I moved to the USA as a QA at Google and also performed the PgM duties for my vendor company. I realized that its high time being a contractor and wanted to pursue a full time opportunity. Before I aspired for a PgM role, I consulted with many TPMs, took multiple mock interviews to ensure if I will be a right fit for the role. The mock interview feedback was good and I worked upon structuring my responses and problem solving skills.

Interview Experience:
I started appearing for interviews and started getting calls from Google, FB and other mid size companies.

I interviewed for two positions at Facebook. One I did not pass the video interview and for other I appeared for the onsite but was rejected after 3 weeks. Unfortunately, no feedback was shared.

I interviewed for three teams. First, I cleared the phone interview and was invited for an onsite. Unfortunately, a day before onsite recruiter cancels it. Second, the hangout interview went well. Hiring manager told me that she is working with a recruiter for my onsite but after 3 weeks recruiter calls to inform that the position was closed with an internal candidate.
Third and most interesting, the interviewer says that he will not recommend me since he was also a QA in the past and took him lot of struggle. In his opinion, I did not have enough struggle. I was shocked to hear this in a Google interview.

Other Companies:
Got an offer from a mid size company but was rescinded because I tried to negotiate. Another major company in the bay area gave me a verbal offer but later turned down owing to some budget issues.

It's been a rough path and I have been broken at times when things seemed so close yet so far.
It hurts, it pains but I refuse to give up. I have been ridiculed and mocked by people but it doesn’t bother me anymore, you may still make fun of me if it's something that would benefit you. I am not asking for anyone’s mercy, all I am looking for is an opportunity to prove myself. Is it a mistake to aim high? Am I wrong to aspire for something out of my comfort zone?
I am going through that phase in my life where I see only dark and no sign of light. I am afraid of living the rest of my life just as a typical contractor at big companies where you’re always reminded of being a second class citizen. I do not want to live with the guilt of not being able to achieve my dreams. I am happy for all of you who are in their dream roles and wish good luck to everyone who is in the journey.

Thank you All. Please ignore the grammar and mistakes as I could not proofread it being on mobile at work. Your comments do help and I hope I do not give up.


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TOP 156 Comments
  • Facebook bjivfe
    Hey sorry to hear that. You do seem to be getting opportunities if you are getting to onsites. Once you get to interviews, your background means nothing. Trust me, i’ve conducted sde interview at microsoft, amazon and fb. Have confidence in yourself and focus on preparing for interview and less about your background
    Dec 7, 2019 8
    • Amazon BarLimbo
      If you don’t have pedigree expect to be rejected at least once by each.
      Dec 9, 2019
    • Tableau / Eng

      Tableau Eng

      I remember a candidate found me on LinkedIn and followed up by asking for a feedback. I wanted to help and asked HR if I can facilitate a feedback. The reply I got was NO. It's a legal thing. Anything I say to a candidate can be used against the company in a court and it did happen in the past to my company.
      I'm very sorry, but not all companies and recruiters will provide you a feedback for that reason. Unless they are going to break own rules and or take a risk
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Google DugO55
    Being a PgM requires attention to detail and good communication skills. Judging solely on your post (which I admit is superficial), your English, spelling, and writing skills are poor and I frankly would not hire you either. Perhaps this is coming across in interviews. I would spend some time on improving those skills and then your chances will improve.
    Dec 9, 2019 7
    • Booking.com XqBM21
      fair enough, love the response
      Dec 9, 2019
    • Tinder trolol
      Attention to detail is a dealbreaker for me. Every time I’ve had a report misspelling things and cannot effectively communicate in writing (English obviously), I have to spend time explaining their thoughts to others who are having “wtf is he saying” reactions.
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Google / Project

    Google Project

    I recommend reading the book Cracking the PM Interview by Gayle Laakmann if you haven’t yet.
    Dec 8, 2019 5
    • Google / Project

      Google Project

      Converting is outta the question now Google changed their conversion process. You have to apply as external candidate unfortunately. But don’t lose hope! Whatever door doesn’t open for you now there is another one waiting to be! (That’s what I have to keep telling myself 😅)
      Dec 8, 2019
    • Google bu653
      None of the major companies give feedback of late. Did you try to get into a mock interview group and get feedback there?
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Dassault Systemes awzxyu
    What is a PgM job?
    Program Management?
    Why not get hired as full time QA?
    Dec 8, 2019 5
    • Domo / Eng dhbeifbwvd
      It’s important to not look too much at others’ experience in gauging your own success. The fact that you’ve seen it does not mean that you should expect it. As said by others, that’s a big leap. Maybe it’ll happen for you, but don’t feel bad about yourself if it doesn’t.

      Far too many people beat themselves up by comparing themselves to others. No matter how well you do, there will always be someone doing better. Don’t get caught in that trap.
      Dec 9, 2019
    • Google rolpol
      QA is not typically an FTE role. That's one of the challenges I've seen for contractors/TVCs at Google (even before the conversion process disappeared); a lot of people are in roles that Google doesn't have any interest in hiring full-time.
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Amazon compare
    You don’t have to apply to Faang. There are other companies, look for those. You can go to faang later on.
    Dec 9, 2019 0
  • Amazon chacha911
    I did a lot of mock-up interview with friends/mentors and got feedback. It helps
    Dec 8, 2019 0
  • Indeed TC1Billi
    Honestly this isn’t meant to be a troll but have you tried anywhere but fb or google? Lol like what is the obsession with these two places as the only eng shops. Lol I worked at google and it was amazing but there are so many other companies out there. Like it’s hard to feel bad or want to help when ur talking about not getting into only two of god knows how many technology companies out there
    Dec 9, 2019 2
    • Amazon compare
      this. If you try to get into the toughest companies, be prepared for failure for multiple years. Don’t take it personally, and move on. You won’t always get good feedback.
      Dec 9, 2019
    • Google Samz27
      yepp. i tried many years ago several times and never even got a response from a recruiter - automatic rejection. last year, applied and heard back the next day. got my offer within a month. don't lose hope - maybe the road is just a bit longer & winding
      Dec 11, 2019
  • Microsoft FlyingOwe
    Nowadays official interview won’t give feed back. HR forbid it for legal reason. Do mock interview with people already in and willing to help. This will help you improve
    Dec 8, 2019 0
  • Microsoft SOYD
    Try Microsoft also! We hire per team so you can always try out other teams and not have a 1 year waiting period.
    Dec 8, 2019 1
    • Google fGJC67
      Thank you for the suggestion. Would be of great help if you refer for any suitable positions.
      Dec 8, 2019
  • Microsoft BrewHaHa
    Why so loose?
    Dec 9, 2019 0


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