Losing my mind here

Aug 31, 2021 67 Comments

I got put on this crazy ass project where there's no clarity around what needs to be done. I think I'm struggling but I got feedback from multiple people that I'm doing great. On top of that my personal life is a mess. I have kids acting out and that causes a lot of fights with my spouse. I have to constantly think about parenting strategies and all. This is just so hard. If I weren't on a visa, I'd quit and take a break. What do people do in such situations? This is relentless. I go from being stressed at work to being stressed at home. If I take a weekend trip, it's always about running after kids and I feel more tired after it. I take longer shits just so I get some peace. I feel like the guy on the ground in the "stop! He's already dead" meme and life is still kicking me.

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TOP 67 Comments
  • Indeed
    HardToFill

    Go to company page Indeed

    BIO
    Engineering
    HardToFill
    How old are your kids? Does your spouse work?

    Take advantage of your company’s benefits and time off policy. Find a family therapist that can give you both parenting strategies.

    Don’t stress about work too much. As long as your manager is giving you good feedback just make sure you’re meeting expectations.
    Aug 31, 2021 7
    • Ocean Spray Cranberries Inc.
      citykid37

      Ocean Spray Cranberries Inc.

      citykid37
      Yeah, I mean in simple terms, I think about it this way….. if a newborn is 100% dependent on you, and an 18 year old is out of the house, loosely your child becomes about 5% less dependent on you each year.

      By 4 they can fetch a toilet paper roll for you.
      By 5 they can play outside by themselves, buckle their own car seat, and dress on command
      By 7 they ride bikes with the neighbor kids for an hour at a time.

      Love my kids to death, but as a dad, that can’t escape suffocating feeling was the worst!
      Aug 31, 2021
    • Samsung
      w10qx7

      Go to company page Samsung

      w10qx7
      If you can afford daycare, send at least the toddler. It would help a whole lot
      Aug 31, 2021
  • Amazon
    dhgr

    Go to company page Amazon

    dhgr
    I’m you. I’ve decided to not give a f about work. Just focus on exercise, eating well, taking care of family, sleep. Taking care of the bare minimum at work, till personal life settles into some kind of rhythm.
    Aug 31, 2021 3
    • Amazon
      dhgr

      Go to company page Amazon

      dhgr
      I constantly set lowered expectations at the start
      Aug 31, 2021
    • Juniper
      crappi

      Go to company page Juniper

      crappi
      Excellent advice amazon. Op you have to choose between your job and family. It is a no brainer. And in 90% cases, your boss will just pull in new resources if it slows down. The trick is to slow it down gradually.
      Aug 31, 2021
  • Amazon
    suck it up

    Go to company page Amazon

    suck it up
    Damn man. I feel the same way sometimes. Just relentless. I just gave up on work. Doing very little right now and hoping to switch soon to a better place.

    Got no solutions for the kids part. Dont know how to change that.
    Aug 31, 2021 2
    • Amazon
      suck it up

      Go to company page Amazon

      suck it up
      I am on visa too and can understand the stress.
      Aug 31, 2021
    • OP
      I can't even slow it down at work. I'm constantly talking to 50 different people for this project and trying to stay on top on things. My partner thinks I don't do enough at home which is true, but htf am I supposed to have the energy to do everything???
      Aug 31, 2021
  • You can't have it all.
    Aug 31, 2021 12
  • NVIDIA / Eng
    TC=500k+

    Go to company page NVIDIA Eng

    TC=500k+
    And yet. These are supposed to be the best years of your life.

    Such is the story of life.
    Aug 31, 2021 0