Hi all, Me and my wife are planning a kid sometime in the next two years. We both have low TCs and we had started prepping for companies. I don't mention her but having a low TC bothers me a lot as well. However ,she is the one who always throws tantrums around the house and gets irritated very quickly. In her defense , she is getting a lot of flak at work and manager is an arsehole. My wife recently flunked a Microsoft phone screen and was extremely upset. A week later I flunked Walmart. Yesterday she got mad at me and started to rant. I could not take it anymore and said that I am worried and scared as well. This was the first time she realised I am hurt and now she is scared in turn. I try to motivate her at all times, but she now knows I am equally vulnerable. Low TC has never affected me like it did yesterday . I am completely demotivated at work , I Dodge sprint updates and have a hard time concentrating. I was not well since last one month and that added to my frustration. I am extremely drained out by all this. But I am quite sure I am not depressed. Any thoughts are extremely welcome.
Leetcoding, man.
Even she has started leetcoding. To be frank some of leet frustration is deflected at me. I don't know whether to laugh at it or lament.
I haven't had kids but I don't think you should have a kid until you have been stably been taking care of your own life first. Good luck
Thank you. My wife and I are of the same view.
Nobody who can’t solve a leetcode hard in 30 min should have a kid. It wouldn’t be fair to the kid.
Not everybody needs to be at FANG. Just relax and enjoy life. Also leetcode however not to the stress point
Frankly not aiming FAANG. But some place where both are TC s are decent.
What is a decent TC for you? And how did you come up with that number?
I would suggest couple therapy. From the description, there are a lot of anxiety, but neither of you can pinpoint where that anxiety is coming from. Therapist can help you draw that out. You know there are times where you avoid things because it makes you uncomfortable. A therapist asks the kind of questions that put you in the spotlight and you are forced to confront your problem.
^ this. See a therapist.
Might be, I will try to bring it up with her.
i am sorry you are going through tough time. i have a kid and it is true that they tend to take majority of free time. i also suggest you to do more of leetcoding. interview is just another skill, more you do, better you get. Do discuss openly the current situation with your wife and come up with plan to tackle whatever the problems you guys have, whether it is perceived low TC or others. Don’t lose hope, keep believing things will get better and take actions to get there
Thank you.
btw, why do you think you have low tc? compare to whom? some posts on blind are either extremely exceptional or lie (troll). don’t let them affect you. also, there are so many people who live happily with low or decent tc.
You’re never going to making enough money, if this is your mindset. You’ll hit one goal then get depressed that you haven’t hit the next.
This is it!
I get the point but this is not the case here. I was not worried about TC a lot when I was not married. Only later I realised how little it is for both of us.
90% of the TC posted in this forum are fake. They are posted by New grads who don't have work assigned to them or obsessive recent grads who are in the process of leetcoding There's an idiot called jomatech on YouTube who has thousands of college kids as followers who think blind is a place to get inspired and know their real worth.
I know blind lies. I am not taking Blind as reference. I have some idea of the local market as well.
What's your family TC and where do you live?
My coworkers were low TC and married as well. They got out of it by working hard and doing well at work. Higher TC will naturally come.
Thank you. It's the only way.
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A kid sounds exactly like what you need 🙄
Perhaps , but we can't sustain at such a low income.
He was being sarcastic