Massive income difference with partner advice
I take home 1.75x what my partner does (after tax). I’m switching jobs & it’ll become 2x, not including public RSUs (current job is private) which will put me around a 3.3x multiple if the stock price doesn’t move up at all
Partner wants to split things 50/50 bc they were raised to think that’s fair but occasionally has budgeting stress. I want to split things proportionally (I make more, I pay more) bc I figure we can do MORE things with no financial stress on either side. If I pay for dates, partner emphasizes the next one will be on them, so I get worried about pricey dates. When we book trips I offer to cover more of the Airbnb but partner keeps it 50/50.
Note:
We’re queer (hetero couple gender expectations don’t apply). We don’t live together but the relationship is serious.
What would you do if your partner had money stress but pushed for 50/50 bc of upbringing (especially if your upbringing was the opposite)? Any tips for making the case for proportional from folks who have done it?
I already save a ton, spend as much as I want to spend on my own stuff, so any cash I “save” as a result of this 50/50 split just goes to riskier investments which provide little happiness / life satisfaction compared to doing stuff with my partner - so “just be happy partner wants 50/50!” Isn’t that useful
Blind tax:
Upcoming TC: 349k
Old TC: less than half that
YOE: 4
comments
I make a lot more than my girlfriend right now and I ask for 50/50 lol. I think finances in a relationship is a very personal thing and there is no right or wrong.
The important thing is communication and it seems like you already doing that!
However since you are earning more and like to go on expensive dates, and if its the deal breaker: move on to someone else.
It’s a tough situation. I recently just found myself in a situation where I now make over double what my partner makes. We had a long conversation and I basically said that I didn’t think it was fair for things to be 50 / 50 and that I also wanted her to be able to save more money and pay off her student loans.
I think they just need to understand that this gesture isn’t coming from pity or anything like that.
I hope to get to a point where my partner doesn’t have to work. If she chooses to do that, I still see her as contributing 50% to our finances because I couldn’t do it without her support. The name on the paycheck only tells part of the story.