My mental health is at its worst, and I need your advice.
To keep it short: - I've struggled with anxiety and depression for a year now. - Started taking meds the week of my FB phone screens, and btw for all those who don't know, depression meds make you weaker, more tired, dizzy, and fatter. - In spite of this, landed a (dream) internship at FB (cuz I never f**king gave up) - Of course, because of my mental health and lack of mentorship from my team, I got booted out with no return offer (and no actionable feedback on how to improve) - Told myself I'll fight back from this, and began applying to other companies. - Stopped meds because I wanted to fight this without external chemical influence - Had 2 onsites, both went well (by then I knew when an interview went well and when it did not) and still got rejected because hiring managers now see me as a big red flag because I could not pass FBs hiring bar (but who cares right I'm such a false positive even with 2 FAANG internships) - First FAANG internship went very well, except that when I was ready to sign the offer letter, the team ran out of headcount (maybe you know which FAANG this is now?). Everyone including my manager left the company a few months later. Had to start cold emailing hiring managers from other teams, and had an onsite which I have touched upon above. - I sit here with no job offer in my inbox, while others post long announcements on LinkedIn about their full-time offers. Am I doomed? I'm finding it really hard to find things in life that are worth it, and not sure where to go from here. Oh and before you call me "weak" and a "complainer", I can guarantee you there's a lot of other things that I'm not mentioning here (like being abused about weight to name a few) If you've reached this point, thanks for reading.
You’re not doomed! Many suffer from anxiety and depression and it can really take over your life. Are you able to get therapy? I know it can be expensive without insurance so totally understandable if it’s not accessible but it it is, I highly recommend it. It got me through my anxiety and my life has truly changed for the better. You have the skills so understand that you will get an offer. You’re at the beginning of your career and so many options available. Expand your search outside of FAANG as well. Be open, keep applying and dont feel discouraged. Also, there is nothing wrong with taking meds if you need them. I found that a combo of therapy and cbd (without thc) was extremely helpful. Keep you head up. Practice self care (try meditation and exercise) and keep going. I promise you’ll be just fine.
Sit here with no job offer. Are you already dead? If no, then you still have time. Life can be hard and it can take unexpected turns but you keep moving. Everyone just sees the outcome (like those brag posts on LinkedIn) but who knows the struggle behind it. And who cares about them anyway? You got two strong internships and you got a lot if time ahead to shape your career. So chin up, prepare a plan, and keep pushing. But above all, take care of your health first - both mental and physical. It's more important than job, TC, etc. You'd be happier earning less with good health than more with poor health. So prioritize that, take some time off, and then get back to what needs to be done.
My advice would be to join a place where you could have a gud work life balance, take it a bit slow. You can pull it through, mate!
Before someone comes in and makes a nasty post, I just want to say I’m sorry to hear this happened to you and also that you should not feel that you need to give up meds. Also as much as people on here might make it seem, FAANG is not everything. You can have a very fulfilling career working for a tech company, a consulting firm, a F1000, or the government...and likely have a better work/life balance too. Without knowing your background it is hard to give advice, but just keep looking and you’ll get something.
Don’t worry about your job situation right now. You’re obviously bright and you’re going to figure it out. Instead focus on getting your mental health in order. - Try yoga and meditative breathing. Helps you learn how to slow down your mind and control the thoughts in your head. There are plenty of free meditation apps or try YouTube videos. - Get some exercise, eat right, and try to develop good sleep hygiene. - Do small things that bring you joy. Watch funny movies, spend time with friends, read books etc. - Take baby steps and try to put one foot in front of the other in building healthy habits. It’s not going to happen overnight. Yes you have to be disciplined but also don’t beat yourself up if you slip on making progress. - Family, friends, health etc. are so much more important than career progress. Slow down and relax, it will come. Just my two cents.
I've seen 2 of my friends in conditions worse than this. They started learning Yoga on someone's suggestion and now they are doing really great. It was really inspiring to see a huge change in them bcz of which I myself started Isha Yoga and unbelievably my complete personality shift happened in few weeks time. This might not be an expert advice but just a small suggestion because Yoga works great for Body, Mind and Energy.
First of all, you are not “weak” nor a “complainer”. Mental illness is very real, and if you’re also a man, well, we’ve been programmed in our society since early childhood to “suck it up”, “be a man”, etc. We’ve been lead to believe that admitting one is going through a mental/emotional crisis, therefor means we’re weak. That kind of mentality is toxic and just further harms us. I’ve battled depression and anxiety my whole life. Was on a plethora of anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds, for nearly 15 years. Nothing worked. Or if they did, I just gained weight, and lost my sex drive along with my personality. So I fired my psychiatrist and got a new one. Guess what? Come to find out I was misdiagnosed, for years. I’m actually bipolar. So then I was put on the correct medication and holy shit, within a few months I felt better than I ever have before. Here’s the key though, you can’t just rely on meds. Go see a psychologist and/or therapist, every two weeks, that specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Meds will help the brain to fire correctly, but it’s your thought processes that also have to be “re-wired”. It’s hard work to stop negative, self-deprecating, self-sabotaging, thinking, but IT IS POSSIBLE. Then, go talk to a nutritionist. Diets suck, but what you put into your body directly contributes to the chemicals that are created in the brain. Plus, it will be a huge motivator to see the scale slowly start to come down. You can do this. You’re not alone. Think of it this way, “We're all running happiness software on survival hardware and we gotta do our own firmware updates".
The last time I made a post like this three weeks ago, a few people on here were like "you've been rejected twice and you crib so much" and things along those lines. I just deleted my post as a result of that.
Blind culture could be very negative sometimes. Filter those comments out.
I’m sorry that your going through this. Don’t let negative thoughts, circumstances, and anxiety get the best of you. I’d say reflect on what you want and go with a calm mind. I know it’s not fun or great being unemployed, but it’s a phase and it will pass by. Always compare yourself to people that have less than you, it helps shift your perspective towards being grateful for what you do have. Medicine and therapy have proven to work, but it takes a long time before you see results. I suggest try meditation, gym, even walking for 15 mins and then get back. Fang isn’t everything. More companies in life. Happy to talk as a friend.
The biggest thing that helped me thru depression/anxiety was joining a power lifting gym in my neighborhood. Kept me active, connected me with a community of people, helped me build and achieve goals outside of work. I know how much the advice of “just exercise” really feels like fucking lol when you’re really dragging and depressed, but it really does make the difference. You’re doing great, honestly. It’s good to try a lot of things and places. A return offer is often the easy way out and doesn’t challenge you, help you grow, and maximize your comp. Don’t get too down on yourself, be nice to yourself, and take the time to take care of your body.
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I can understand. I lost both of my parents 2 years back. I was so depressed, sad, broke, my health got deteriorated but I kept burning myself out. That time I was interviewing with Google and Amazon. Got a reject from Google and before i could go for my onsite at Amzn, the role was accepted by someone else. But had few average job offers. So took a step back and took a job where I had wlb, could focus on mental and physical well-being. And I’m glad I dint get into Amazon or Google at the time because I would’ve exhausted myself badly, it would have been more depressing if I wasn’t able to perform as I would’ve. You need a stellar performance at these companies or else you will get easily fired or on PIP. It’s a rat race and you need to bring your A game. Sometimes its good to take a step back and re-evaluate things. Maybe you should see a therapist. If you could not afford it due to insurance then look for some friends. Go to a Church or the Temple. There you will find people who will be willing to help. Don’t burn yourself out. Put your health on priority. You seem to be a smart guy/girl. Don’t be too harsh on yourself and don’t compare with other people/friends who are posting their new jobs. Try to understand everyone has different life experiences. It must be tough for you but don’t be disappointed. It’s Okay. Try for employers who would happy to have you. I Interviewed again with Amazon and got an offer. It’s not the end of the world if you don’t get a job into FAANG. Get a job at a company where there are better people to work with. Who care for you. Please start exercising daily, read the book Spark by John Ratey. Meditation is the only way out of depression. DM me if you want to talk as a friend. Take care. Also remember ‘This time shall pass’ and your situation won’t be same in next 6 months. You’d be posting on Blind that you got a job and you’d be glad you made your health a priority.