Because I am going to die anyway.. I am questioning my own existence. Suddenly everything appears to be meaningless and there is no desire to live basically. What are you all striving for? Perhaps for your family? What if you have no family, what would you do then? I am single and 27. Never been interested in a relationship or getting married and raising a family. Never been in an intimate relationship. I am a good performer in my team and if I want, I can work exceedingly well. But now, I see no value in it. I realized, all the actions I do (from the moment I wake up), is out of fear. All the drama is for my own protection and security. The world will go on without me and it was all perfectly fine before 1991. Who cares if I don't have food to eat or place to sleep? Why do we all desire money, fame, health, relationship, family etc? Why do we desire so many things and talk so much! Why do we think what others think about us. Why do we have to wear a mask all the time? I have spiritual interests and the only thing that makes sense to me is to follow the path of a great saint (read about him and his teachings last year). I just want to run away. But no matter where I go I will take my mind along, so i could just stay where I am currently and still continue to practice his teaching. But my current lifestyle is bothering me too much (focus is too much on money, internal politics, career development and material things) and I just want to get out of this... Sometimes, I feel like I can just go somewhere (probably my native country) and start fresh. I would like a very peaceful life (true that when you have inner peace nothing else will effect you.. but I am going in search for my own peace) where I don't have to rush to work every morning. Away from technology.. perhaps settle down in a small town or village and I can teach kids there or something, help as many people in ways I can. I would like to be invisible and lead an anonymous life. And with this mental attitude, I don't think I will be a fit in US. I was just wondering if anyone felt the same.. what did you do?
Or I guess reply below to remind me to get back to you later
You are burned out bro.
we all have been there, I know ai was and sometimes I go to those places still. I would strongly recommend to build up support system. Better yet, start by seeking professional help, I am sure your company or insurance covers some counseling. Just go talk to someone, there is no shame in that. Feel free to dm me if you just want to chat
Why do you think I need help?
Well, you are here, asking for advice on how to deal with it, aren’t you? I am not an expert but that you described sounds a lot like burn out, maybe even depression. I don’t know about intel, but Salesforce offer 8 counseling sessions in which you can discuss anything you want. It’s through 3rd parry provider and totally confidential. I used them, and it was huge help to just talk about things out loud. Just see if your company offers anything like that.
I used to get these thoughts for more than 3 years. And now I am back to normal. I started helping the poor and needy, with donations, giving guidances and volunteering . which gave me much relief and a sense of usefulness in what I am. Yes, I did take help from the psychiatric Dr.
I think we are conditioned very much that we say our life in this society, the way we are living as 'normal'..
Find a non-profit organization to do some volunteering work
If you can afford taking some time off to travel or live abroad for a month or more, I recommend it. There are a lot of options to live places for free and volunteer your time during the day. You can teach, build, farm, etc.
Hey man keep your head up, you’ll get through this. I’ve definitely been there before, and am kinda there now. I’m not sure if it will help you at all, but someone mentioned the myth of sisyphus by the French philosopher one time, and I found it to be a really good perspective bump for me. Not sure if it will mean much to you, but maybe check it out. For me, the main thing that helps is to consume myself with a hobby/friends outside of work. Hope you get through this man. Feel free to DM.
Thanks, I'll check it out.
I go through this relatively frequently, in cycles..I guess questioning life and meaning of it is part of being smart and gives you the potential to change stuff in your life. You don’t want to realize you fucked up just when it’s too late..I learned to see this as a positive thing that helps me grow but the process can be painful..I guess the important part is not to ignore what your guts tell you and try to act on them as long as it’s reasonable..change job..leave for a long trip..experience something new..that’s the conclusion I reached so far but it’s evolving
“Suddenly everything appears to be meaningless and there is no desire to live basically.” Meaningless means lack of meaning, absence of meaning. It is like a blank page. Do you think a microbe needs to create meaning in its life in order to live, or that it simply lives? It loves a meaningless life because it isn’t aware of there must be a meaning to it. Depending on culture, upbringing, individual interests, that blank page gets filled with meaning relevant to the person at the given moment in time. Meaningless isn’t a bad negative thing, but absolute and total freedom of choice. “I can work exceedingly well. But now, I see no value in it.” You’re followed the meaning created for you by your culture, current culture, media, parents, friends, yourself, etc, and it worked great for you before but it anymore. It doesn’t mean life is over, it simply means you realized you’re no longer ok following your existing meanings, beliefs and behavioral programs and hence the existential crisis where you start to look for new meaning in life. “I realized, all the actions I do (from the moment I wake up), is out of fear. All the drama is for my own protection and security.” You’re using your rational mind to solve (potential) problems. You know you need retirement savings, you plan for it. You know you need a new job, you plan for it.... You know you need to enjoy life, so you plan for it. But it doesn’t work this way. If you are forcing yourself to love something it is not real love. Therefore if you want you life to root not in your rational mind and fear, it needs to root in life itself, in its inherent existence. Small children are full of vitality and excitement of life. Why? Because they are curious, they are learning, they are loving it. But as you grow older you learn more, you start to think more, analyze more, and some lose that spark of life. You can get it back. There is an inherent property to life, in feeling of depth/space, awareness, where you can find joy in simply being. It changes how you think. You perceive life differently. “Why do we desire so many things and talk so much! Why do we think what others think about us. Why do we have to wear a mask all the time?” This is a byproduct of democratic society where each person is equal. If you’re not rich, it is because you chose to not be rich. If you don’t have a gf, it is because you chose it. If you’re a drug addict, same story. And so you’re either a loser, you’ve made it, or you’re on your way to making it. This leads to constant personal dissatisfaction of one’s existing life as no matter what you achieve there is more. In a society of never ending progress and wants there is no room for enjoying life simply for what it is. Watch “Status Anxiety” documentary on YouTube. “I just want to run away. But no matter where I go I will take my mind along, so i could just stay where I am currently and still continue to practice his teaching.” There is a school of Dzogchen that specifically teaches you how to move past the non-dualistic, logical, cause-and-effect thinking, to make peace with the analytical mind and use it as a tool. “Sometimes, I feel like I can just go somewhere (probably my native country) and start fresh.” You can, and it might bring you what you’re looking for. However here your goal isn’t to start a fresh life but to feel OK. You goal isn’t fresh life in itself, but a feeling you want to feel within. “what did you do?” Find new meaning in life by following my intuition. I take the feeling of that meaninglessness and look at it very closely, observe it, and it becomes my teacher.
Thanks for a great answer :) "There is an inherent property to life, in feeling of depth/space, where you can find joy in simply being. It changes how you think. You perceive life differently."
How do you go on with your day-to-day activities with that feeling of meaninglessness?
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I haven’t done shit today!
I have recently gone through this. Send me a direct message
Will dm you