Asian struggle with bragging ( at work & job interviews)

New / Biz Dev
Gravel-Ind

New Biz Dev

Gravel-Ind
Dec 25, 2019 20 Comments

it's been 20 years since I moved from a remote village to US, and I still struggle with the American way of artful bragging.

Is there anyone here (especially Asians, Indians, desis) who had to overcome a similar struggle? How did you do it? (please be as specific as you can)

Context:
I am unable to effectively match my internal confidence & accomplishments to credible storytelling, and corroborative external body language. So in professional settings which need tooting my horn (taking credit for my accomplishments, job interviews etc), I have not been able to find the right balance, and either come off as overconfident, inauthentic (lying), or a super aggressive, cocky confident type. It is not my intention to be awkwardly humble or threatening over-confident type. How should I learn this skill?

I blame my parents😜, One of the values they instilled in me was to never brag, and win people over with hard work & dedication. That alone does not work in the US.

comments

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TOP 20 Comments
  • Google / R&D
    Dr. Seuss

    Go to company page Google R&D

    Dr. Seuss
    Bragging is not the only way to win other people's confidence. Humbleness never looses it's value. Don't blame your parents blame yourself.
    Dec 25, 2019 0
  • Bose
    lBsp71

    Go to company page Bose

    lBsp71
    Could you write whatever you wrote in simple words.
    Dec 25, 2019 1
  • Uber
    pgnrrrrrrn

    Go to company page Uber

    pgnrrrrrrn
    Don't brag. Use the STAR method (Google it) to break down your past work. Write it down. Work on it until it feels right. Memorize the stories when you need them to interview, make a case for promotion, etc.
    Dec 25, 2019 0
  • New
    Soft❤️

    New

    Soft❤️
    Oh man. This is universal in lots of parents I guess. I had to learn that confidence is not the same as bragging.
    - Use facts to build your story. This works in most companies.
    - Practice behavioral interview questions. Record yourself doing them and watch it to critique yourself.
    - Get a buddy (or a group of people) who can give you honest feedback. It can be someone at your same level but a different team.
    - Get a few mentors. Select people that seem confident and who would be open to meeting with you 1-2x per month (set it up as lunch or dinner and have it be your treat). While you’re meeting with them, tell them what you need advice on. Observe their demeanor and body language.
    - be a genuine & authentic human being.
    After you practice long enough, this becomes 2nd nature.
    Dec 25, 2019 0
  • Jumpcut
    xOMR03

    Jumpcut

    xOMR03
    Don’t try to be anything. Be yourself. In job interviews, simply replace ‘we’ when you speak with ‘I’. You don’t need to do that substitution any other time.
    Dec 25, 2019 0