Seemingly at crossroads in life...seeking opinions and not judgements
So here’s my situation:
I am 41, have been married 11 years, have 2 kids (11 and 6). I am very fit (read extremely) and decent looking. Wife’s beautiful as well. Both above average as per other folks however boastful that sounds.
6 years back me and wife got into a trust situation and since then life’s not been the same. We haven’t been husband and wife since then - we have not even touched each other since then, live in separate parts of the house, sleep separately. We both love our kids to death and that’s one reason we are still together. The main reason we haven’t divorced officially coz of my immigration which is still pending the rut (I am from India).
We would have split amicably otherwise.
Last year summer on a trip, I happened to meet a woman just by coincidence and she happens to be one of the prettiest women you will ever see. Period. Extremely beautiful and at the time when I met her I didn’t know her life situation ...turns out she was going into divorce. We both came close due to our situation AND more so coz we totally match each other. Physically, mentally and in every single aspect of life. Add to this..she is a multi millionaire although that’s not important but important to mention that she is very financially secure. Also men fall for her every single day given she is so pretty and sweet. She is 48.
We both are in love. We love each other to death.
Now back to my wife she says I can do whatever provided I give her financial security and take care of kids.
I do care for my wife (technically she is still my wife). I want her to find a partner so that she can be happy as well.
So I am now at crossroads since we can’t apply for divorce as I don’t have a GC and she is on dependent visa. She works though.
I know the most selfish thing I can do is run away from my situation and just be with the one who I love. But I am very aware of my life situation and responsibilities and I will take care of my kids and wife financially for sure and be there emotionally for my kids. Can’t break their little hearts.
So I am at crossroads on what to do. Options I have are:
1. Tell my wife and maintain my relationship with the one whom I love and wait for the immigration condition to settle so that I can remarry and my wife is also in the boat to remarry. Keep living with my family and just be open. But I don’t know if my relationship will survive that.
2. Take a transfer to CA which is where my love is. Maintain both sides of my life. Of course make both sides aware of that.
3. Say goodbye to my love and make peace with life. There is no way my wife and I can get back ..that’s for sure. So this will mean both of us suffering in silence for until the kids are in college or immigration is resolved.
I can’t even imagine life without my love.
4. Take a transfer to outside US for an year, get GC in EB1 and come back and be in a better position to amicable settle down.
Please understand that this is one life we all get to live and with great difficulty we find true love. There’s no good or bad.we live with our decisions. And we have opportunity to make corrections.
Also I can get to be a citizen if I marry my love. But that’s too far fetched.
Pls don’t judge me as I am a very lovable and affable person. I have never hurt anyone other than my wife sadly.
She is a great intelligent and beautiful person, she works too and is a very very devoted mom. Our frequent arguments in the house have started affecting kids which I feel is more dangerous than we living unhappy with each other for long.
Pls don’t pass judgements again as this could happen to anyone.
Thanks for listening. Would love genuine opinions. Again pls know that I am totally fine with my wife finding a partner as well. She has no interest in me and we have already grown apart as husband wife . We haven’t even touched each other since 6 years..no kiddin. Only sticking coz of fucking immigration .