I have a lawyer for a different case right now (nothing job-related but still distressing) and it's really nice because all I have to do is sign some forms and they handle everything else. I don't need to do much of anything. It may be different for you but they can probably help you a lot with how to handle the situation because they've seen it a million times before.
It’s real, I believe you. But I also would not be surprised if someone was shitty about it if you reported it. It’s unfair. As far as the manager goes, it’s her fault, and you don’t have to protect her.
It’s honestly very isolating. I’m looking for someone who gets what I’m going through because they are too. Any ideas how to do that without a big media bonanza or lawsuit, or losing my privacy? Imagine if all those gymnasts had found each other years ago, and realized they weren’t alone. They would have been able to support each other. But how do you find each other?
In a famous case in my country, the victims started sharing their experience with safe, trusted people. It turned out that those trusted people connected them. So, maybe you can try to find Deloitte-related people that you can trust, and tell them a bit, and see if they’ve known about other cases.
You can also try to guess who could have been a victim, and then contact that person through a trusted third party and let them know there’s a case, and that they can contact back if they want to connect. To “guess”, you gotta use your intuition, or ask around.
My friend brought your post to my attention. I was a partner at Deloitte. Reported a number of sexual harassments by 3 partners of which one is in NYC, discriminations of minorities and women and retaliation last fall to the chief ethics officer. They dragged their feet in investigating and after giving them a few months, I decided to send my resignation to the chairman of the board. Since my departure, I have heard that they started to take it now seriously, perhaps because the chairman has now been notified.
A co-worker who was a witness but didn't realize it at the time reached out to me after her meeting with the investigation team. Turns out it triggered her sexual assault at 16 that she had buried. Because of that she realized in hindsight that she should have recognized the signs (eg my hands shaking) when she told me that one of the partners was asking about my personal life. She also reached back out to them to report others that she was aware of as I encouraged her to speak up for others since I've opened up the can of worms.
I also learned that reporting it to talent sometimes falls through the cracks since they report to the group that someone may be reporting but the chief ethics officer is in theory independent from the business side. I can connect you to right folks.
I also wanted them just to fix the culture and move forward rather than sue but felt that I had to stand up for not only me but all the other minorities and women who have been silenced. I went through tremendous guilt thinking that I enabled these men and the culture for not showing up earlier. Ironically, I reported it earlier than the #MeToo movement but it has helped for them to now take it seriously. More men encouraged me to report than women. Women thought I was stupid for ruining my career. At least now, I know I did the right thing.
I disagree. I think my criminal case is more likely to stop this guy from doing the same to other women. Civil suits usually get settled confidentially and the rapist/company continue on like nothing happened. Nothing changes the better.
You must be a white guy with your typical elitist views preaching from a pulpit. If you really respect women and all that bullshit, then did you speak up every single time you witnessed or heard about some situation where they were treated unfairly? Are you creating some movement within your company refusing your pay raise until women are paid fairly? Are you speaking up during evaluation meetings when things are said about women to diminish them while the same things are never said about the male counterparts who also have similar behaviors? The answer is no. While I had these male "supporters" who wanted me to report, I didn't see any of them go and report on behalf of others or speak up when they are hanging out with the guys and they decide to rank women on their team or group.
One woman reported her situation, got lawyers involved and his buddies who weren't even present rallied around and all lied saying that she's lying and that they were there. Many of these are he said, she said. The victims get victimized again over and over. All the other women in the Weinstein situation who lawyered up and went to the police... What happened to them? They either got paid out with non disclosure agreements to be silenced or district attorneys refused to prosecute because the other side can always afford more expensive attorneys and to draw out the process to victimize the victim even further. Weinstein's team also paid people to collect dirt on the women including people to pretend to befriend the victims and create dirt. Each one also lost their career either by their choice or being blacklisted for speaking up.
You have got to be kidding me with your sue or women aren't really ready for equality bullshit. When the news came out, both men and women blasted those women who lawyered up and said they created these stories just to get money and that they weren't really looking out for other women by being paid to be quiet.
You really want to be supportive, then try empathy. Being preachy and name calling from your bully pulpit on an anonymous app serves no purpose. Go speak up for women and minorities when you see or hear this stuff being done. If you're a manager or leader, don't tolerate or enable the behavior including during evaluation meetings.
To give you another self serving perspective, some of the men (and many of the women warned me that some of the "supportive" men were pushing me to report) were hoping it takes out the other men who they were tired of seeing succeed and getting leadership positions when everyone knew they were assholes. So when you say you're tired and "sick" of the harassment, are you speaking up yourself and reporting for others or are you on your bully pulpit pushing people to do your dirty job for you so that you can swoop in, be the supposed good guy and take that empty leadership position?
What does getting paid and being silenced do exactly for other women or minorities or change the culture? Go ahead and ask all those women the Weinstein company paid off since the 1980s. Ask the women who got law enforcement involved. There are a few in Scientology too where they have the LA police in their pockets. In fact, go listen to their interviews and hear their voices.
Speak up on behalf of others. When I reported, I reported for others as well. It is now up to others to find their voice. Find yours instead of hiding behind blind and bullying women to do your bidding. Each person has to decide what is "right" for that person. You don't get to dictate that.
If you were sexually harassed or assaulted, would you lawyer up and want all your co-workers to know that another male assaulted you? Go ask Spacey's victims why they didn't do what you suggested especially since they are men and supposedly are ready for equality based on your logic. Interestingly, did you see how quickly Netflix and others reacted to one, just one, story about Spacey although there were rumors for years just like Weinstein and how many women had to speak up to get similar results on Weinstein? I didn't see the public blast the Spacey victim but there were tons of negative comments like gold digger, whore, she asked for it, etc given to Weinstein victims. I hope it never happens to you but I can guarantee you that when it does, you would be surprised by your reaction and wouldn't be so quick to lawyer up and let the world know a man sexually assaulted you. You know you're being a hypocrite that "men who are ready for equality" would all lawyer up and get money. Pocket books aren't the only way to impact change. Full stop. Some of us aren't trying to get paid off or compensated for our situation. That also implies that a value can be assigned to this.
Also Oprah was also sexually assaulted, and like other high powered women, spoke up about their stories as well. They did not lawyer up as you claim either. Educate yourself before speaking on behalf of others.
Taylor Swift who could afford a prolonged trial sued for $1 to prove a point and not be accused of trying to get compensated for her situation. The guy tried to countersue claiming all sorts of disgusting things about her. She got blasted by public/media as the rich white overly sensitive girl wanting attention for years. Jury vindicated her but at what cost to her name? But she did it to prove a point. To show the trials and tribulations that a woman who has an actual claim have to go through and the emotional toll it takes. They couldn't claim she was in it for money but see how easy it was to say she wanted attention? Nobody wants attention from having to relive this.
By the way, I did consult an attorney. She helped me craft my resignation letter to the chairman of the board.
Poster: I just signed up to respond to you. I'm not sure how this app works so I'll try to figure out how to pm you.