Stalker from work

Undisclosed
waxmodel

Undisclosed

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Forever an acute observer. Humans are fascinating.
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Feb 14, 2018 33 Comments

My coworker/colleague turned out a stalker. It all started when he asked me for mentoring sessions. I was happy to help out. By the third or fourth session, he openly shared that he had a crush on me. I liked him as a friend, but no more and in all interactions behaved as such. We grabbed tea one evening after work which turned into dinner. Living alone as a single woman leaves one lonely and I figured it was okay to have a friend. So I invited him to my place once for Thanksgiving dinner. A few weeks later, without warning, he started to turn up at my place uninvited without prior notice. It disturbed me, but I didn't want to act rude. Also, I still considered him a friend. He did this two more times even once when I was sick with the flu/fever. The last time, he showed up unannounced, I was really not in the mood for company. After a couple of hours, I bade him leave. It upset him clearly. A week or so later, he showered me with text spam from all kinds of shady sources and wrote pages of hellfire. So lesson learned. Be careful whom you trust. I get the creeps daily nowadays wondering if he's standing out the door and looking in through the little crack of the front door window--just like he did the last time he showed up.

P.S.: All interactions with this guy on my part involved neither romantic nor physical aspects. I'm writing this afterword in response to some insinuating comments that make this medium no different than FB.

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TOP 33 Comments
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Undisclosed rNtr14
      @probz Yea maybe someone also need to tell him it’s not okay to spam text someone bc the person rejected him, right?
      Feb 14, 2018
    • Undisclosed rNtr14
      @crapshot what made you think that you get to define what #metoo is? Also, stop victim blame for ENABLING that behavior, jeez. If you know so well about #metoo, you should know better than that lolz
      Feb 14, 2018
  • Microsoft / Eng Candycane
    Tell him to never show up unannounced! Even my relatives don’t do that.
    Feb 14, 2018 1
    • Undisclosed ierE46
      Best advice.
      Men are not mind readers. If he likes you, he is going to assume the best possible situation where things are ambiguous. You cannot expect someone to obey your boundaries regarding showing up at your home if you have never explicitly told them what your boundaries are after they’ve already pushed that envelope. Yes, it’s strange in this day and age that people would do this, but there are still folks that think it’s okay to drop in on people they feel close to. When someone shows up at your home unannounced, you send them away. You also don’t make excuses for behavior (eg do not say that it isn’t a good time, because it implies other times are okay).

      “Look, you’ve shown up unannounced and I do not appreciate that. I will invite you if I want you to visit my home. Go home.”
      Feb 19, 2018
  • Undisclosed I🌶🚵‍♀️
    Ok so him showing up a few times and you not stopping him might have "lead him on" and now he thinks you two are like this 🤞. Now you have to stop this asap or he's gonna think there's a chance and keep on showing up and hope to get the 🐱
    Feb 14, 2018 4
    • Google arXP68
      It's the creep's fault, but it's OP's responsibility to prevent these situations by never sending ambiguous signals.
      Feb 20, 2018
    • Google arXP68
      Fault and responsibility are different things.
      Feb 20, 2018
  • TuneIn ibelieve
    Sadly some guys don't understand that being friend zoned is their own fault, and blame the girl for leading them on.

    It'll pass, most guys don't stay creepy after clear rejections. If he is persistent after you made it clear, it's always an option to call in the cops.
    Feb 14, 2018 0
  • Intuit MusicLvr
    This is not OK and no coworker should be doing this to you. Please be safe. Report this. If you're worried about reporting this, and if you have a trusted HR reporting option, i.e. HR 800 number or anonymous online chat, use it. When work life crosses over to.personal and you don't feel safe,
    Feb 14, 2018 0
  • Microsoft Way fair
    Please report to HR. Atleast please report to manager. Hate to say this. But, in the future please be careful before inviting someone over for dinner.
    Feb 14, 2018 0
  • Google / Eng Fakir
    Don't think this is his ( or anybody's) "fault". Its just how our ( both men and women) still ancient brains behave in a modern society.
    Feb 15, 2018 0
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Flagged by the community.

  • Flagged by the community.

    • Maven Clinic / Eng kGSs04
      Excuse me? If you’re insinuating that people posting on here on Valentine’s Day are single, I’d like to point out that you just posted as well. Is being triggered easily why you are single on Valentine’s Day?
      Feb 15, 2018
  • Microsoft trolololo
    When you say "Afterwards, something happened.", do you mean you had some sort of an intimate session? Or was that just a gateway into the rest of the creeper stalking story? If a, then he was led on. If b, then he needs to go see a shrink and leave you alone. #MeTooConfused
    Feb 14, 2018 1
    • Flagged by the community.

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