Have been noticing this a lot during meetings and other interactions in office- Men usually look at other men while talking/explaining even if I'm the one who has asked the question. I don't know if this is intentional, maybe not but it's really beginning to bother me. Has anyone else faced similar issues? How did you deal with it? Edit: Some responses completely miss the point. I'm not talking about "staring". It's just that they subconsciously address the men instead of who has asked the question.
More than that, man are afraid to just talk to me, even to look at me. Right. That's so crazy. I feel sooo weird. So, let me know, if anybody found solution to this problem
The problem lies with you. You don’t accept the world as is. If someone is not looking at you why are you so desperate. Change the stage. When a men (let’s say those who don’t look at you) ask you the question, you look at them. If the interaction is comfortable, then future interactions will be comfortable too.
They don't ask me a question. They are trying to avoid and ignore me
Perhaps they’re just more comfortable staring at other men? It took me a while to get used to looking straight at people when talking to them. I’d constantly avert my gaze or look down. This was particularly a thing with the opposite sex. There’s also an element of it just being more comfortable because eye contact with some person who didn’t actually ask the question means less “pressure” to answer properly. That aside, if a person’s nature is to look at anybody but the asker... when you ask a question in a room where there are more males than females, basic probability says the person is likely to look at a male.
Looks like. But like 80% of them? Doesn't seem weird?
It’s an actual thing. No matter what certain ideologies today claim, relating with the opposite sex is usually a little different, without conscious effort to mitigate that. So it wouldn’t surprise me that many men have that unconscious impulse and not all make conscious effort to suppress it.
The comment below yours is why there's HR training. This behavior is not. HR training is not that vague.
Maybe wear something more form fitting to really get their attention
These days, I think it’s less sexism and more fear of HR unfortunately.
This is the backlash of me too. Women are now being punished for the movement.
I don't think it's an outcome of the movement. I guess men seem to think they contribute more to the workplace than women. In a lot of teams, women are still treated as secondary contributors. It IS a subconscious sexism.
Maybe to a very small extent. This kind of thing has been going on for a long time.
Yes same to me. Actually I posted about this in the Google channel when it was just the straw that broke the camels back kind-of-moment. I was frustrated and out of ideas of how to handle this type of behavior. I strongly feel that it will hurt ones career trajectory if it is not figured out. And Googlers were so helpful, I got dozens of replies! 🙏. I’ll see if I can find some highlights later.
A lot of men feel more comfortable talking to other men, there's less sexual tension/opportunity for something to be taken the wrong way. In tech men are probably even less comfortable. Not saying this is true 100% of the time because there are definitely sexist assholes out there.
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Yes!!! Yes!!!! I have the same thing