Older Engineers don’t exchange pleasantries on async chat?

New
shcitken

New

shcitken
Feb 1 32 Comments

I noticed that engineers that are 45+ and at high level (principal+) do not exchange pleasantries on async chat like slack or google chat. Stuff like good morning, good night, thanks, etc. It’s not because they are grumpy or unfriendly, the same people do all of that in the office, but never on chat.

My question is: has anyone else noticed this? Or if you are like this, why? If they think it is a waste of time, should I just stop doing it to them so it’s not so one sided? It is in my nature to be polite and it is always exchanged for anyone who is young engineer or any non-engineer of any age. I would have to deliberately remind myself to not do it for these people who don’t reciprocate, which seems weird. Again, these people are polite irl, just not online.

To clarify: no I am not just saying hi and waiting for response. No one does that lol. It is literally just a short one liner and then straight to the point. It only adds to the convo, and takes literally 2 seconds to type.

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TOP 32 Comments
  • Amazon
    OERP60

    Go to company page Amazon

    OERP60
    Don't stop being polite. At the same time never just say "Hi, how are you?" and then wait for a response. That's the worst way to engage some one who is busy. Rather follow it up immediately with your question or reason for engaging.
    Feb 1 4
  • Microsoft / QA
    abcd😁🙅🌲

    Go to company page Microsoft QA

    abcd😁🙅🌲
    https://nohello.net/

    Save your hi hellos and other chit chat for your tinder date.
    Feb 1 3
    • Microsoft / QA
      abcd😁🙅🌲

      Go to company page Microsoft QA

      abcd😁🙅🌲
      It's not about politeness.

      A lot of people like to get straight to the point. They get asked a lot of questions from a lot of people thru the day. Exchanging peasantries with everyone means thats the only thing they will do all day.
      Feb 1
    • New
      shcitken

      New

      shcitken
      OP
      Ya I am seeing it now. I have no direct report and no children. I can imagine if u r high level and/or have children u must Min/max communications. I will continue to write my short pleasantries but will not take it personal if I don’t receive it back. Thanks
      Feb 1
  • Financial Service Company
    dude360

    Financial Service Company

    dude360
    I won't waste time on hi/hellos. Just get to the point. Why waste time. I'd show the courtesy in meets/meetings
    Feb 1 1
    • New
      shcitken

      New

      shcitken
      OP
      Fair enuf. It must be that the older ppl or higher level people really must value their time so much they can’t afford to be polite? I am a senior Eng and very busy too, but I manage to do it instinctually and it does not bother me to do it or have it be done to. Really confused but I guess I’ll never understand since many ppl here are saying the same thing
      Feb 1
  • Microsoft / Eng
    RadKandor

    Go to company page Microsoft Eng

    RadKandor
    I really don't feel the need to do that. I actually hate when people say.

    Hi!!!
    How are you doing?
    How is family?

    They should go straight to the point, grab the answer and go away saying thanks. That IMHO is more polite and respectful of others time.
    Feb 1 2
    • New
      shcitken

      New

      shcitken
      OP
      But what about when u do it and then get straight to the point? It’s literally less than one sentence, and it is just a nice thing to do. It does not detract from time unless you think 1-2 seconds is too much, it’s like holding the door for someone
      Feb 1
    • Microsoft / Eng
      RadKandor

      Go to company page Microsoft Eng

      RadKandor
      That's the point. It may not seem a problem for you, but it is for me. You have to respect my communication style as much I respect yours.

      If you say "hope you're doing fine" at least you are allowing me to ignore you. When you ask me how I am doing, that's already a question for me to answer in addition to the actual question.
      Feb 1
  • Amazon / Eng
    nyxlo

    Go to company page Amazon Eng

    nyxlo
    If you put it in a larger message (e.g. "Hi, how are you? I have a question about..."), then feel free to continue doing so. I personally come from a culture where people are expected to answer questions, so this kind of "how are you" where the expectation is that you either say fine or completely disregard feels extremely insincere and a waste of time, but obviously you don't feel that way.
    On the other hand, if "hi, how are you?" is your entire message, then fuck you.
    Feb 1 2
    • New
      shcitken

      New

      shcitken
      OP
      I dont use how are u cuz that’s annoying. But yeah it is really just the good morning, good night, hope u had a nice weekend. I think a big red flag for me is when u do something for someone and they don’t say thanks. The rest of it ok most ppl will respond but I can understand if u don’t. But the please/thanks omission always makes me raise an eyebrow
      Feb 1
    • Amazon / Eng
      nyxlo

      Go to company page Amazon Eng

      nyxlo
      Agree with ^
      Feb 1