Toxic (Jealous?) Teammate - Stay or Leave?

Workday
bvvdhehf

Go to company page Workday

bvvdhehf
Mar 19 28 Comments

Hi guys, I started a new job 5 months ago and hate it. For context, there’s a teammate who’s been here for 6+ years and they’re in the same role as I am. They’ve always worked solo on the team for the past 6+ years until I joined. Since they know the ins and outs of everything, they‘ve asked me to run my work through them and to get their approval prior to executing on anything (which I guess is reasonable but at the same time they’re not my manager?). Also, they’re always super critical of my work and would leave harsh feedback on everything I create (ever since the first month I started working). So one day, I wanted to experiment and see if they’re actually leaving constructive criticism on my work or if they’re just trying to attack me. So I copied and pasted some of their own work in a document and asked for feedback and guess what? They criticized most of it, even though barely any of it was even by me. I even copied a link from their website and put it on mine and they asked why I linked out to such a “bad useless resource”. Basically, when they do something it’s ok, but when I do it it’s not. Also, I always make sure to offer a helping hand (I offer everyone I work with). After my calls, I always end with something like “if you ever need help on anything, please let me know”. Then one day, this teammate aggressively tells me to stop asking if there’s anything to help out on. I apologized to them for a good 10 mins and nearly cried. I feel like I’m always stepping around eggshells with this person and have to compromise my rights to avoid any potential conflict. Also, when I initially joined, they said if I ever see any gaps or room for improvement, I should let them know. However, whenever I propose a new way to do something or suggest improvements, they’ll shoot down the idea right away and not even consider or think about it. Once my manager told me to create this new dashboard and when I told the toxic teammate about it, they shot it down and said it’s useless (even though my manager requested for it?) They even take it personally (as if I’m criticizing how they previously did things when in reality, I just want to help the team succeed with a fresh pair of eyes). I never come from any ill intent and I always propose improvements carefully (I’ve never gotten in any work conflict prior to this). I reported this persons behavior to management but management joined the team recently too so they depend a lot on this person and probably won’t do much about it (everyone else on my team has only been here for a few months except for that one toxic person).

Is this teammate threatened by me or something? Has anyone ever gone through something similar? Can things get better? Or should I start LC and looking for a new job again?

TC: $185k
YOE: 3

#hrissues #toxic #teammate #management

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TOP 28 Comments
  • New
    Ducksta

    New

    Ducksta
    Leave man, many jobs out there.
    Mar 19 2
    • Workday
      bvvdhehf

      Go to company page Workday

      bvvdhehf
      OP
      Yep starting to apply at this point..
      Mar 19
    • New
      I_lovetaco

      New

      I_lovetaco
      Yea, you gotta leave. I was in your same position 2 years ago. I left within 9 months. Work for a company that values input and good feedback & delivery.
      Mar 20
  • New
    sVJE15

    New

    sVJE15
    my experience after a fairly long career (as an engineer) in tech is the following:

    Do not join established teams that have established products - the fun in tech is the ambiguity/uncertainty of the initial design/architecture and that is where all the innovation (if you can call it that) happens. Once the product is established, it is about incremental enhancements and maintenance - which is also a time the product gets offshored, team-members establish territories and the general toxicity level (and politics) increases, mediocrity starts to set in as the best folks leave to other greenfield projects. Joining a team at this juncture is risky.

    in your situation, i would leave in a hurry, as the toxic teammember is unlikely to change, and the management has no choice - they may be attempting to neutralize the toxicity with new hires and fresh blood
    Mar 21 1
    • Amazon
      sHSc83

      Go to company page Amazon

      sHSc83
      Spot on. I am in such a toxic team and running for the doors. What you said about offshoring is also very true. My org is setting up a team in Mexico to save cost. One guy is so protective of his turf that he does not want involved in his projects, yet he is quick to criticize with illogical and incorrect arguments. When I point that out in public, he apologizes publicly to save face, but the manager start defending him both publicly and privately.
      Mar 21
  • This happened at Workday?
    Mar 19 3
    • Daaaaamn!!! So far I had heard so many good things about Workday culture!
      Mar 19
    • Workday
      bvvdhehf

      Go to company page Workday

      bvvdhehf
      OP
      All I can say is they got top notch marketing because it’s all a scam. Out of all places I’ve worked, this place has the most rude people. They don’t want you asking about their day. I joined for the culture but it’s just full of woke bs that’s basically don’t talk and just do.
      Mar 19
  • The same happened with me after joining Zillow.
    What I found was, The experienced guy was just slacking from last 1 year and was taking 5-7 days to complete a request which can be done under 15 mins.
    Obv. He felt threatened when a new guy is trying to improve things or doing 3x the amount of work- he even said in one meeting that he couldn't work as he is guiding / validating my work whole day- BS!!
    In my case, luckily because of ZO wind down, He was laid off.
    Things generally don't get better unless mgmt sides with you- Please start LCing and i hope things get better for you !

    Keep a track of work done. Also, track of how many times you tried to escalate to MGMT and they didn't listen- in case things go further south, This will help in HR case/ suing
    Mar 19 4
  • Uber
    Aioq55

    Go to company page Uber

    Aioq55
    I feel for you. I have a similar coworker with the same kind of attitude, but what makes it worse is that the boss encourages the behavior saying they’re showing they are taking initiative to be a leader and that I should be more like that. Clearly more examples of management that have no idea how to treat employees let alone manage them well. Best of luck to you finding a new role.
    Mar 19 4
    • Workday
      bvvdhehf

      Go to company page Workday

      bvvdhehf
      OP
      Dang @uber same. This toxic teammate has ran to my manager several times complaining that I don’t “pay attention to details” every time I propose a new way to do things and don’t do it their way. And of course the manager stands with them since they’re also learning how things work around here from this toxic person. I wish you the best on your journey to finding a healthier workplace. How long have you been dealing with this?
      Mar 19
    • Uber
      Aioq55

      Go to company page Uber

      Aioq55
      Thank you, I’m really putting a lot of effort into my search. It’s hard to gauge how toxic a team is until you start working with them. I’ve been at the company less than a year, but the toxic behavior ramped up fast, I’d say the first 2 months. At first I thought, ok I don’t mind learning what someone else has done, but as soon as I got the first knife in the back and saw how the manager was praising this person I felt like I was in a horror movie. Even when I do things exactly like this person, the manager looks at me like I utterly failed at the task, but the same lackluster work from that person comes with numerous praises. I just look forward to the day I put my 2 weeks in. Not like the manager will care since they have their “superstar”.
      Mar 20