Hung out w a guy for the 5th time last night. After making out for a while I said “I want you,” next thing I know, he’s in me - w/o a condom. I wasn’t even fully undressed- still had underwear on. The second I noticed, I pushed him out of me, told him I felt violated, asked why he didn’t use one. He said he didn’t know I wanted to use a condom. He also said he didn’t have an excuse and apologized. I said it’s a given to use one. I said “Why would you not? I’m not on the pill and if you did this with me you probably did this with others, and you don’t know where I’ve been” he apologized so at least he realized it was wrong. I said don’t do it again, with anyone. Told my girlfriend about it and she said something similar happened to her. This isn’t the first time a guy has tried to sleep with me without using protection, but it’s the first time a guy actually followed through with not using one. Feeling violated. 😔 I get that sex without condoms feel better, but it feels like some (not all) men don’t realize the potential consequences of unprotected sex. It’s a big deal.
You never really know, I’ve had girls ask me not to use one
What I’m saying is the default should be to expect to use one. If someone asks otherwise, fine.
Why is this under MeToo?
If they don't use a condom I'm going to get frosty, they won't like me when I'm frosty.
The hulk said something similar
Isn’t that something you discuss before. Not blaming anyone, but expectation needs to be set via both parties — you can’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Btw, it’s a must for me; others might want the hivs... not I
What I’m saying in this post is that the expectation should be to use condoms.
Why? Can you speak for 100% of all ladies? What makes you the authority on this? Every case is different. I agree, condoms are the sensible thing. Its seriously a 2 seconds convo. “Use a condom please before you go any further “ or “do you have condoms?” Or do you mind if I use a condom”.
Then again.. aren't you the one that allowed your pants to come off and allowed your panties to come off? Using a condom is just as much as a responsibility as yours as it is his... you should have asked him if he had one while your pants were coming off. Now you're filled with regret and guilt trying to make it like was his fault. Typical...
That bastard! Probably should have said something when your pants were coming off. Looks like he was trying to pull a fast one. Hoping it felt so good you just go with it.
Nope. Be careful with kind of bullshit thinking or you’ll end up a rapist.
Wait from what I read. Frost said she should have said something when her pants were coming off. JaonHarris I bet you're one of those snowflakes that blame everything on everybody else and it's never your fault. You're a goddess of sexual pleasure? You're probably some fat bitch. Hail Hydra, you hoe.
*given
How people simply don't mind getting STDs is beyond me
This, thank you.
What if that guy is on this and read this and knew it was him you were talking about.
I’d encourage him to share his side of the story :) Open dialogue is good.
Not wanting to use condom is a gigantic red flag. Instead of “I want you” I usually say “do you have a condom” XD
I didn’t expect him to shove his dick in me. I was still partially dressed. Saying “I want you” doesn’t mean “put it in me now without protection”. Again, the point is that the default expectation should be to use a condom.
Isn’t this technically sexual assault?