Ugh, can we all just agree to use condoms?

Mar 3, 2018 195 Comments

Hung out w a guy for the 5th time last night. After making out for a while I said “I want you,” next thing I know, he’s in me - w/o a condom. I wasn’t even fully undressed- still had underwear on. The second I noticed, I pushed him out of me, told him I felt violated, asked why he didn’t use one. He said he didn’t know I wanted to use a condom. He also said he didn’t have an excuse and apologized. I said it’s a given to use one. I said “Why would you not? I’m not on the pill and if you did this with me you probably did this with others, and you don’t know where I’ve been” he apologized so at least he realized it was wrong. I said don’t do it again, with anyone.

Told my girlfriend about it and she said something similar happened to her.

This isn’t the first time a guy has tried to sleep with me without using protection, but it’s the first time a guy actually followed through with not using one. Feeling violated. 😔

I get that sex without condoms feel better, but it feels like some (not all) men don’t realize the potential consequences of unprotected sex. It’s a big deal.

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TOP 195 Comments
  • Microsoft / Mgmt khajit_has
    Isn’t that something you discuss before. Not blaming anyone, but expectation needs to be set via both parties — you can’t expect your partner to be a mind reader. Btw, it’s a must for me; others might want the hivs... not I
    Mar 3, 2018 16
    • Square AlisaDorsy
      There’s a reason there’s 7 billion of us 😘
      Mar 11, 2018
    • Undisclosed Luber
      Beard dude sounds like exactly the kind of frat boy the #MeToo movement is trying expose. I am glad we found them.

      Keep masterbating, cause that’ll be your best chance to avoid STDs
      Mar 18, 2018
  • Autodesk / Eng M__M
    Not wanting to use condom is a gigantic red flag. Instead of “I want you” I usually say “do you have a condom” XD
    Mar 3, 2018 6
    • Microsoft YrHP68
      Sexual assault is very clearly defined in law. It's not your daily diary which u can edit the way you want.
      It was just a bad one night stand. Get over it.
      Mar 5, 2018
    • Undisclosed / Mgmt
      Portlandia

      Undisclosed Mgmt

      PRE
      startups
      Portlandiamore
      As a precaution get tested for STI’s. Sorry that you had to go through an uncomfortable experience. Some men do not like condoms and rely on women to tell them if they should use one. The sad part is talking about this kills the mood. But not talking about this can lead to uncomfortable moments too. The default should be use protection for the first time, and if your partner wants to rinse and repeat, ask her if it’s ok.
      Mar 8, 2018
  • Undisclosed SHJo31
    I don't get it. You sleep around all the time with different guys and expect your boundaries to be respected. A woman who sleeps around with many men is called a you know what and the same is true for men vive-versa. So stop the hypocrisy madam. Take care of yourself and be on the pill. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for your actions.
    Mar 3, 2018 4
    • Coursera Qqqqqiiiii
      OP
      Thank you both. This comment .. not even sure where to start.
      Mar 3, 2018
    • Microsoft
      JoanHarris

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Goddess of sexual pleasure and other pleasant things. I have left Microsoft and am working at Amazon but, of course, my opinions are my own.
      JoanHarrismore
      Men I know who sleep around tend to be really serious about condom use as they don’t want STIs. Most sexually experienced people are smarter about this as they know they’ll get burned otherwise.

      So I’m guessing this idiot is pretty naive in this arena.
      Mar 4, 2018
  • Undisclosed &83!hq7)?3
    Why is this under MeToo?
    Mar 3, 2018 5
    • LinkedIn / Eng Shariputra
      The norm being created is that they should be opt-out not opt-in...
      Mar 3, 2018
    • Microsoft
      JoanHarris

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Goddess of sexual pleasure and other pleasant things. I have left Microsoft and am working at Amazon but, of course, my opinions are my own.
      JoanHarrismore
      It is the norm for new lovers. Generally once you’re monogamous you can stop.
      Mar 4, 2018
  • Undisclosed KiLrFrost❄
    Then again.. aren't you the one that allowed your pants to come off and allowed your panties to come off? Using a condom is just as much as a responsibility as yours as it is his... you should have asked him if he had one while your pants were coming off. Now you're filled with regret and guilt trying to make it like was his fault. Typical...
    Mar 3, 2018 14
    • Undisclosed HotJizz4u
      JoanHarris is a Sex Goddess? Awesome!! Let's agree to go bareback yeah?
      Mar 13, 2018
    • Undisclosed Jeff Bеzos
      Do you have pics so we can understand the mechanics of what happened?
      Mar 16, 2018
  • Square Squircles
    Female condoms exist so why is it on the guy to take responsibility? #doublestandard
    Mar 3, 2018 4
    • Microsoft
      JoanHarris

      Microsoft

      BIO
      Goddess of sexual pleasure and other pleasant things. I have left Microsoft and am working at Amazon but, of course, my opinions are my own.
      JoanHarrismore
      You’ve clearly never used one of those. Trust me, male condoms are better for everybody. A good lover of either sex always has a high quality condom at the ready.
      Mar 4, 2018
    • Microsoft / Product
      ಠಿ..ಠಿ

      Microsoft Product

      BIO
      Anonymous
      ಠಿ..ಠಿmore
      Its always a burden on the guy as the girl always assumes she has pussy pass
      Mar 7, 2018
  • Flagged by the community.

    • Amazon ofrhz
      OP, I’m sorry you have to deal with educating all of the men in this thread
      Mar 3, 2018
    • Coursera Qqqqqiiiii
      OP
      😂thank you ofrhz- appreciate it! I posted this in part so men would reflect on the impact of their actions
      Mar 3, 2018
  • Facebook Rights
    I will bring a condom, just let me know when 😍

    I got more likes on my comment then my Quora posts 😘
    Mar 3, 2018 1
    • Coursera Qqqqqiiiii
      OP
      Haha I like your humor
      Mar 4, 2018
  • Undisclosed / Eng Jr Staff
    You never really know, I’ve had girls ask me not to use one
    Mar 3, 2018 6
    • Apple 999333
      Yeah, because "I want you" means that even with my underwear still on I want your bare dick inside me. Go fuck yourself.
      Mar 13, 2018
    • IBM / Eng 👁🐝Ⓜ️
      Grow up child. Learn to adult. This whole complaint is fucking high school shit.
      Mar 13, 2018
  • Undisclosed pytorch
    How people simply don't mind getting STDs is beyond me
    Mar 3, 2018 1

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