Unequal emotional labor in relationships?
I was reading a Reddit thread and the top comment by ineffable_yet_f-able really hits home. A lot of the thread does:
Does anyone else feel this way in their relationship? For example, she will say that she feels extremely tired after a work day, and I will do my best to listen, understand, validate, and help her with her feelings, performing a lot of emotional labor. However, if I do the same, I’m met with one-liners, and then a lecture on how now I know how she feels every day. This makes me feel like any emotional labor generated by men is met with rejection.
Is this just how things are? Is the reality that men are just expected to internalize most of their problems and also bear the burden of their partner’s problems? What can be done about this?
Now before anyone says I should break up. She’s a great, caring, loving individual and we have a lot of great things about our relationship, including communication. However, it’s tiring to live with this inequality and I don’t know how receptive or productive it would be to discuss it with her.
TC 245k YOE 12