Unequal emotional labor in relationships?
I was reading a Reddit thread and the top comment by ineffable_yet_f-able really hits home. A lot of the thread does: https://www.reddit.com/r/changemyview/comments/cb0v65/cmv_in_heterosexual_relationships_the_problem/ Does anyone else feel this way in their relationship? For example, she will say that she feels extremely tired after a work day, and I will do my best to listen, understand, validate, and help her with her feelings, performing a lot of emotional labor. However, if I do the same, I’m met with one-liners, and then a lecture on how now I know how she feels every day. This makes me feel like any emotional labor generated by men is met with rejection. Is this just how things are? Is the reality that men are just expected to internalize most of their problems and also bear the burden of their partner’s problems? What can be done about this? Now before anyone says I should break up. She’s a great, caring, loving individual and we have a lot of great things about our relationship, including communication. However, it’s tiring to live with this inequality and I don’t know how receptive or productive it would be to discuss it with her. TC 245k YOE 12
if you feel it’s unequal, its unequal. you can’t let strangers like me tell you whether your life is fine or not. and no, imo its not fine. you’re clearly deprived of certain elements in your relationship that you crave at least enough to seek help online and on this forum about. its normal to want those things that you seek. breaking up is usually down the line of list of things to resort to. you can leverage her great communication trait to resolve this. the manner in which this is handled by either party can help decide towards a breakup if necessary.
You are in an unequal relationship, man up
Unproductive to discuss these things if your wife is of traditional upbringing.
You both may have different love languages. Helping her after a tiring day, for example, is your love language. Her default may be different. Think about it and then talk to her.
Or even take the 5 love languages quiz online as a couple
Woman here. say to her “When you need to unburden yourself, I’m always here to listen and support you. But you have no patience to listen to me when I need a listener. I’m a human being too, like any other person sometimes I get grizzly and need emotional support”. I’ve heard it in a past relationship and felt really bad about myself. It completely changed the way I treated him
I’m sure reading off scripted lines in this situation will go as well as the scripted lines awkward guys use to pick up random girls
Microsoft is right. Even if he’s reading this off a paper it’s totally fine. Women really listen when you have a heart-to-heart with them. Because men don’t do it often.
Sounds like she's manipulative and controlling. Your example tells me she doesn't think about equality the way you do. Best thing, have a direct discussion - Golden advice I give everyone. For more advice, DM.
I don’t understand why your TC has anything to do with the question??
That's the rule here. Adhere, or get out.
Lol oooookay very welcoming community thank you!
Alcohol is the answer
> what can be done about this? Nothing. Man up
It's not about maning up. It's about giving the same amount of effort that your partner gives you... Your comment is exactly why male victims of domestic violence don't come forward to seek help.
If you're going to nickle and dime your relationship you should find someone else. If your girl beats you and it doesn't get your dick hard then you seriously need to find someone else