Met two girls recently (in person, via friends/coworkers, not dating app) One is new grad (Finance intern): pretty, cute, sweet and bubbly . Kind of fun to hang with, although we usually don’t have a lot of serious stuff to talk about other that the usual events or up coming plans. But we are also in the same community so we hang out a lot. And she’s very sociable and just fun to be around. (TC: probably 100?) The other is a bit older (mid 20s), SWE at Google. About average looking, not ugly but I never see her wear makeup or dressed up (her usual look is sort of boyish/ preppy), so definitely not the turn-head kind. But she’s mixed race and from Europe so there’s something about her face that I sometimes couldn’t stop staring. Never work with her directly but the team she’s with is one of those super cool ones (that I failed to join), so I’ll say she’s probably pretty smart. She also seems very knowledgeable and well-traveled. Her parents worked for some embassy in Europe so they used to move every three years . We (her, a couple of other people and me) usually get lunch together and I enjoy chatting with her. She’s got this shy/witty humor. But she’s also bit distant and reserved (probably because she’s shy). (TC: probably 200+) I’m late 20s myself. Sometimes I find myself more attracted to the first girl as i feel at ease and obviously because she’s hot. But she’s just like other girls I’ve dated... I’m not sure how soon I’ll get bored. The second girl is unique - but I always feel nervous and never have the gut to chat with her alone. (She’s not arrogant in anyway, I just feel intimidated for some reason) Which one would you pick? (TC: 250)
If you are typical American millennial, don’t go with the second girl. She is more mature than you and has more life experience. You will be shallow to her pretty quick.
If looking for short term - girl 1 (fun to hang out with, likes to go to events, no serious talks, good looking) If looking for long term - girl 2 (serious, mature, smart, almost your age so I would say more compatible) but make sure you are ready for a long term. Also evaluate the risks of dating a co-worker.
Can you get both? Maybe one day and one day
So the question really is whether or not you'll have guts to proceed with the second girl? Sorry, but the way you described them only highlights the second girl.
Yeah well, hence the “should” in the question. I kinda don’t want to get rejected
If number 2 rejects you then you pursue number 1. Simple as that.
Flip a coin
It sounds like you have a good thing going so why the need to pursue only one? I would try to find more things in common, and attempt to have more meaningful conversations with number 1. Meanwhile, build up the courage to talk to number 2. I don’t see the need to rush anything until you know you’re actually interested in one or the other and that they’re interested in you as well.
What are some things we can talk about to make it “meaningful”? (For me, Id like to chat about tech/SWE/work/new cool projects, none of which seems appropriate outside of work :( )
What would you want to know about the person you were going to spend your life with? Music, movie, or book preferences/favorites is always an easy conversation to have that can lead to discovering similarities or bring up nostalgic memories from earlier years. Past trips or bucket list destinations can help you understand what they value in an escape from everyday routine. Then as you build rapport you can bring up conversations around anything you feel strongly about to see what their thoughts or upbringing was like.
You can make a scheduler. There are 7 days in a week. Jk I'd probably lick the first one.
Why not lick both?
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