People post here sometimes, ask why girls act differently when they learn you work in tech, so I thought I'd share my case. It's a one off, yes it has a ton of bias and of course I haven't dated hundreds of guys for a good data sample. These are just my experience and observations. And they don't mean everyone is like that. I find guys in tech very attractive: they're smart and we can keep up a good conversation, many of them are into some hobbies I've never heard of, so I often feel like I'll always learn something new. When dating, they usually are very conservative and do not show their feelings much. While initially it seems kind of cute, it soon becomes a case when all initiative comes from me: be it who initiates a passionate kiss, does some naughty sexy things or a simple "I love you" kind of message - after a couple of months most of these become very rare, and the relationship becomes flat with very little emotions flowing. The guy just assumes all things were already said, so there is no need to repeat or do something of a similar kind. A non tech guys I've dated are more involved into relationship. they seem to be more resilient to any sort of depressive mood and can be supportive when I need a strong shoulder. With a tech guy it's more like "you're on your own". They are not trying to be always logical, which leads into predictive. They kiss spontaneously or surprise with something, they occasionally text something unexpected which either makes you laugh or blush, or just makes feel loved for once more, and even after a year+ of dating it still feels like both are proactively doing something to make each other happy, while with a tech guy it's more like he tries to set things fixed at their stable level and never does anything differently, so that stability doesn't go away. Definitely didn't mean to offend anyone, just sharing my perspective. Tc 235
I think I could solve this programmatically.
Why not date guys who are more balanced? Find a guy who’s in tech but also has hobbies(non tech) and a great social life. These types of guys are probably more experiences with women/dating and will have an easier time giving you what you want.
I'm guessing it's not as easy as just snapping your finger and bam. In order to figure out if someone's balanced or not, you need time commitment, maybe 3 months, maybe 12 months, even then nothing's guaranteed
You can find out if a guy is balanced in a few weeks of being around them and seeing their social circle. Same for girls. Although, girls are usually much more balanced for whatever reason.
This is pretty interesting, I do like my stability and dislike spontaneouty. I've had to learn it and plan to be spontaneous just as a surprise, but I die a little everytime I do.
May I ask what exactly makes you feel that way? Is it the burden of preparation? The time invested? Just trying to understand. From my perspective: it doesn't have to be anything grandiose. A cup of warm coffee with a cookie or a bath with some essential oils would be more than enough.
Like I've dated girls who were like "oh let's go out of town tomorrow" and for me I need a week to mentally prepare. I hate new things springing up on me, because then I'll have to change my plans. I also hated surprising SOs with an idea and finding out they have a conflict and that's my main reason I like planning ahead of time. So my relationships in college were not with tech girls, but after I mostly dated tech girls, just because of proximity. I found tech girls are more "romantic" in a traditional sense and want the spontaneous stuff, more than the girls I dated outside of tech. This could also be because I'm more mature now and sensitive to my partners more so than as a student or new grad. Last thing, I also found when dating tech girls, i think because of their high salaries, the small stuff you described aren't welcomed? I'm into what you described, but I don't think I've met girls who appreciate that stuff. But again I'm limited on proximity and region, so it could just be the south east, also most of the tech girls i meet are Asian/Indian 🤷♂️
Looks like true.. but purely it depends up on each individual's
Not even mad. Definitely grains of truth here. Many in tech display these behaviors/traits.
Sounds right as a rough generalization. My gf calls me a robot 😂
This isn't specific to tech. Any field which requires hardwork and planning would require personalities to be logical and methodical. You won't be able to date doctors, lawyers, engineers, architects etc, especially those who are at top of their field. There are always exceptions, so either you find exceptions, which you'll find in tech as well, or date in the pool of artists or gamblers or any other field which doesn't reward logic as a personality trait. Having said that, there has been research that for happy long term relationships, you wouldn't want a person who's too different than you. So even though you think you carve emotional rollercoaster, it might not be sustainable in long run given that you belong in tech as well. Dating a criminal is an experience you can never get over, because the amount of emotional rush you experience during the course of your relationship would be unmatched by any other person. But it's hard to sustain that if you aren't as crazy as them.
This is pretty interesting,I guess it makes sense why certain personalities dominate certain industries
I did not say I'm against anything logical. The personality match is definitely a must, and living in a rollercoaster with a daily drama is not my goal. The post about small occasional things, which just would make one feel they're not dating a robot. Funnily enough I do well with lawyers, as they tend to be similar to tech guys, but show up more empathy.
This is P0 bug and needs to be fixed asap. Sending a PR to men.git repo soon
So what you are saying is that you need a monkey to put on a show each today to continuously activate your hamster brain or else you will break up with him? God, women today are insufferable. I hope you are attractive as fuck OP to be acting this way.
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Tech guy here. I can vouch for OP she is 100% fucking correct.
Lmao same here
Scary how correct she is.