Will it get better from here on?

I have been in Amazon for around bit less than 2 years now.

I joined during implementation of a large project, and slowly whole team left over the span of 6 months.

I performed the necessary onboarding for all the new team members, and then I was provided to lead next large scale project.

For last 5-6 months I made sense from whatever quip/wiki I had, with no other person to reach to, put together the narrative and sold it to manager/senior member for new project. I am closing on high level design with necessary stakeholders, and now new members are putted for taking forward low-level design.

I now get a feel I am done with all this, I kind of feel like dragging myself to work. Even I noticed change in my behaviour, and snapping at kids for small reason.

I don't know if it's happening since I have not pulled this kind of large project, and it will get better next time, or is it going to remain same

I am kind of stubborn and don't quit easily, but now I am getting feeling is it even worth it. I think my manager also knows that my commitment is decreasing and all carrots for SDE3 promotion has started in next 2 quarter

TC 41LPA (India)
YOE 6
#mentalhealth #tech #amazon