Would you keep dating this girl 3 months in?

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May 30, 2019 155 Comments

Asian girl age 25 with a math background from a top public university. Was an exec for a hedge fund at age 23 and started a company at age 24. Did well at first and then things got rough. She’s not paid herself the last two years, living off of savings from investing and past salary. High risk but well respected in her field and fun personality.

Intense at work and loving and compassionate within relationships. She likes her partner to always pay for dates (just her style) and gives in other ways like affection, gifts, loyalty.

She looks great on paper but you find out she has $10K in credit card debt and is currently barely getting by. But she is cool, persistent, strong character, confident, has a high EQ/IQ, and people love and respect her. She loves you like no one else has before. She has huge potential.

Would you dump her because of her current financial situation? Would you love her if she failed at everything if she kept trying or would you look for a girl with a better financial situation?

Would you consider asking her to live with you without asking for rent money?

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TOP 155 Comments
  • Micro Focus / Eng chmod777
    Well, she definitely shouldn’t be dating a guy like you
    May 30, 2019 12
    • Kaiser Permanente pagz54
      Paying for dinner is cheaper than the alternative 😉.
      May 30, 2019
    • Microsoft katakar
      Def. a keeper. But she won't stay after she has made it. You don't seem like one☹️
      Jun 2, 2019
  • Postmates setamtsoP
    Seems like a keeper. Financial situation might be temporary, personality traits matter more.
    May 30, 2019 1
    • Twitch jellybeano
      Financial situation is a reflection of her judgement.

      Money and kids: always see eye to eye with your partner on these.
      May 30, 2019
  • New / Legal jGGW76
    It’s shitty to even consider not dating someone because they are going through a rough time financially.
    May 30, 2019 4
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

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      OP
      I’m just wondering what other people would do. I go back and forth from “maybe timing is poor” to “I want to take care of you and get rid of your struggles.” Have been dating for 3 months and she is the perfect girl. I’m also a engineer and a founder but don’t get paid an extreme amount.
      May 30, 2019
    • Amazon / Eng ewjX55
      Im not sure what your deal is. You just trashed her for having financial difficulties while shes doing a startup. Like did u really think creating a company was all rainbows?
      Honestly, i dont think ypure ready to move in at all. Youre saying u wanna just get rid of her issues like its gonna be all easy. But moving in with someone is not easy, and you dont do it to "fix" them.
      Also 10k is nothing. Just wait till you have kids and a house. Shit will really hit the fan
      May 30, 2019
  • Booking.com m87hj0v
    "Asian girl [...]" Yes.
    May 30, 2019 1
    • Facebook ⭕w⭕
      "girl" yes.
      May 30, 2019
  • Booking.com martinisux
    LOL there is existence for such post.
    first of all, I'm telling myself why on earth do I bother commenting and giving advice.

    so here we go - looks like the girl is a pampered spoilt child who has not seen struggles of life. good things never last, looks and materials too. she should change for the fact that she expect man to pay for dates. I'm a woman, I dont ask man to pay, or go on Dutch. in life we should not be calculative but we should nog be stupid too. YOU on the other hand dont deserve to love or to be loved (I hope you change) if you are even considering not to be with her for debts and when times got rough, and seems like you are too superficial about status.
    May 30, 2019 8
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

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      OP
      @tutanota I travel a lot but surprise her with gifts occasionally and do take her out to dinner when we have time.
      May 30, 2019
    • Booking.com martinisux
      come on good things doesnt last. tough times doesnt last too :)
      May 30, 2019
  • Amazon FTWLeeter
    I paid off all of my wife's debts when we married - that's how it's supposed to be
    May 30, 2019 3
    • Microsoft Blah.
      I did the same, but only because I knew it was student loans and not due to her being irresponsible with her money.
      May 30, 2019
    • Amazon FTWLeeter
      Yep, same here
      May 30, 2019
  • Pure Storage YhGy64
    I say this completely seriously, not trying to be insulting. But you should start seeing a therapist and get a better understanding of yourself and how you want to relate to other people.
    May 30, 2019 2
    • Twitter Oomnj
      Always good to have relationship therapists anyway. Modern relationships are an uncharted territory and we don’t have a lot of history and traditional experiences to draw wisdom from.
      May 30, 2019
    • Nvidia wuwuw
      💯💯💯 I can't upvote this enough. You need a therapist to unravel this shit out.

      Therapy is the #1 reason how I've repaired/strengthened/created such strong relationships in my life.
      May 30, 2019
  • Intel LvOT55
    10k is PENNIES! she could pay that off with a sign on bonus if she decided to get a job. Although, if she's been living on savings and investments, why does she have credit card debt? What's her lifestyle like? Given her situation she really shouldn't have debt like that barring any like medical expenses or something drastic
    May 30, 2019 2
    • New / Other
      HDCT

      New Other

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      OP
      Well, the company is running out of money and things needed to get paid so, along with her cofounders, she floated it. She was depressed for a little bit before me. Obviously she’s working on pivoting and either raising more or starting another company. She lives extremely lean and never asks for expensive things from me even though she likes her partners to pay for the dates. She told me she didn’t care if it costs nothing but that it was pure quality time.
      May 30, 2019
    • Microsoft idknbd
      lol at Intel thinking most industries offer sign on bonuses
      May 30, 2019
  • Facebook burnt_out
    She’s only with you for the financial support because she sounds out of your league if you’re asking questions like this.
    May 30, 2019 9
    • Microsoft NYC..
      Keep talking about pedigree and being a founder and I’m going to agree with everyone else that says she should dump your ass.

      You’re clearly still to cocky, young, and dumb to have figured out what’s important in life. A hint, pedigree and being a founder ain’t it.
      Jun 3, 2019
    • Microsoft NYC..
      Oh, and none of that is “pedigree” either. Just plain old greedy gold digger right there.
      Jun 3, 2019
  • Amazon / Sales ChivalryAF
    🤣 OP over here acting like he’s a trust fund kid dating a low class human.

    Get outta here with your attitude. This girl deserves better than your entitled ass.
    May 30, 2019 0

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