Self doubt, imposter syndrome and lacking decision making skills
TLDR:- I make decision too early, regret those decisions and then start all over again.
joined a payment processing company diversity means shit there all the employees are from one demographic even though I belong to the same demographic never felt comfortable with colleagues TC:- 65k left the company in one month.
Then joined a logistics company for 75k tc and I was considered top performer but I was never happy with my TC stayed there for 2 years.
jumped ship and joined a company not faang but good one with 150kTC it was ok not bad realized I belong there after leaving but cannot go back.
left it after 3 months to join Fb with 230k tc when I joined, I never was confident or felt like I belong here always thought luck favored and I made it here. So far it been a little over 1 year in FB.
At this point I started fucking up, started interviewing got a few offers, but not comparable to FB comp.
Signed offer with a company that offers 100k less than what I used to make at FB at that point, realized it’s a mistake and backed off after signing and background check.
Offered TC:- 180k
Then signed offer with a company that down leveling me, but comp was 40k less than what I was making at FB, but I felt ok,
background and visa transfer done.
At this point my idiot brain started comparing comps of both the companies,
Now at this point the comp diff is 60k considering all things.
Offered Tc:- 241k
I feel comfortable with FB culture now, not confident, I know my way around things to be above average, not at the top but above average.
I know the offer I signed is great, wlb is considered one of the best in the industry I might be wrong but atleast that’s what I heard. But I feel like I am taking a huge pay cut for the wlb.
Things that bothered me in FB
Too much chaos, PSC rules everything here.
It’s not just code that put you on the top.
You need to make posts, talk to people, do presentations, make contributions towards specific areas. I know I have to do the same in the other companies but it’s a little much in FB.
People around me are very busy, they just write code like cake walk, doesn’t matter if it’s repeated code, they just write it, day and night I get notifications on code commits. I cannot keep up with them on how much code they write.
You need to claim impact, sometimes the projects I do feel small to me (later realized I am seeing them small and I need to make them look big), people around me talk a lot about a single line of code they changed and how important that is, even if I wrote a couple of hundred lines of code to integrate something important Iam like integrating this into that and I cannot go beyond that.
On top of all imposter syndrome.
How do I fix this? I am very confused with a lot of things not just with jobs.
#tech #imposterSyndrome
comments
If you spend more time anywhere you’re bound to get more comfortable. No problem with taking a while to figure out where that place is.
Also I personally would take quality > quantity any day with commits. Building an identity around quality commits and not a number sounds like something people would respect. Make sure you’re still not lagging entirely though and still pushing out code on a regular basis
Most developers here will vouch for having imposter syndrome at some point. This is good and normal since it shows that you have a decent level of self awareness.