Self doubt, imposter syndrome and lacking decision making skills

Facebook / Eng
Messy Eng

Go to company page Facebook Eng

PRE
Oracle
Messy Eng
Aug 5, 2021 12 Comments

TLDR:- I make decision too early, regret those decisions and then start all over again.

joined a payment processing company diversity means shit there all the employees are from one demographic even though I belong to the same demographic never felt comfortable with colleagues TC:- 65k left the company in one month.

Then joined a logistics company for 75k tc and I was considered top performer but I was never happy with my TC stayed there for 2 years.

jumped ship and joined a company not faang but good one with 150kTC it was ok not bad realized I belong there after leaving but cannot go back.

left it after 3 months to join Fb with 230k tc when I joined, I never was confident or felt like I belong here always thought luck favored and I made it here. So far it been a little over 1 year in FB.

At this point I started fucking up, started interviewing got a few offers, but not comparable to FB comp.

Signed offer with a company that offers 100k less than what I used to make at FB at that point, realized it’s a mistake and backed off after signing and background check.
Offered TC:- 180k

Then signed offer with a company that down leveling me, but comp was 40k less than what I was making at FB, but I felt ok,
background and visa transfer done.
At this point my idiot brain started comparing comps of both the companies,
Now at this point the comp diff is 60k considering all things.
Offered Tc:- 241k

I feel comfortable with FB culture now, not confident, I know my way around things to be above average, not at the top but above average.

I know the offer I signed is great, wlb is considered one of the best in the industry I might be wrong but atleast that’s what I heard. But I feel like I am taking a huge pay cut for the wlb.

Things that bothered me in FB
Too much chaos, PSC rules everything here.

It’s not just code that put you on the top.
You need to make posts, talk to people, do presentations, make contributions towards specific areas. I know I have to do the same in the other companies but it’s a little much in FB.

People around me are very busy, they just write code like cake walk, doesn’t matter if it’s repeated code, they just write it, day and night I get notifications on code commits. I cannot keep up with them on how much code they write.

You need to claim impact, sometimes the projects I do feel small to me (later realized I am seeing them small and I need to make them look big), people around me talk a lot about a single line of code they changed and how important that is, even if I wrote a couple of hundred lines of code to integrate something important Iam like integrating this into that and I cannot go beyond that.

On top of all imposter syndrome.

How do I fix this? I am very confused with a lot of things not just with jobs.
#tech #imposterSyndrome

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TOP 12 Comments
  • Ford
    yeeelo

    Go to company page Ford

    yeeelo
    Woah. Lots going on here… so you have another offer but you’re at fb and not feeling too comfortable with your role at fb yet cuz you can’t push code as fast as your colleagues? Is that correct?
    Aug 5, 2021 2
    • Facebook / Eng
      Messy Eng

      Go to company page Facebook Eng

      PRE
      Oracle
      Messy Eng
      OP
      That is true, I push enough code but can never keep up with them in terms of 5-6 different commits a day.
      Aug 5, 2021
    • Ford
      yeeelo

      Go to company page Ford

      yeeelo
      Take a deeeeep breath. Sounds like you’re very qualified if you have offers and such a high paying role. Remember to be kind to yourself.
      If you spend more time anywhere you’re bound to get more comfortable. No problem with taking a while to figure out where that place is.
      Also I personally would take quality > quantity any day with commits. Building an identity around quality commits and not a number sounds like something people would respect. Make sure you’re still not lagging entirely though and still pushing out code on a regular basis
      Aug 5, 2021
  • VMware
    /.\

    Go to company page VMware

    /.\
    tl;dr

    Most developers here will vouch for having imposter syndrome at some point. This is good and normal since it shows that you have a decent level of self awareness.
    Aug 5, 2021 0
  • just chill, pick one place, and stick it out for at least a year
    Aug 5, 2021 1
  • New / Eng
    b!gpp

    New Eng

    b!gpp
    Sounds like an yesterDesi. Figure out your identity issues first and then look at career is my advice
    Aug 5, 2021 2
  • Walmart
    rex213

    Go to company page Walmart

    rex213
    Take the offer with good wlb.. seems to be G.. at G, life is mostly about rest n vest as long as u r not in GCP as GCP is full of Oracle ex executives who have spoiled wlb in GCP.. in FB, too much BShiiting needs to be done to show impact, .. by the way, who is using FB these days other than old granny’s in old age homes as they get to see family once in weeks or months !!
    Aug 5, 2021 0