Hear me out.
Harry lives with the Dursleys on Private Drive.
Harry grows up beating Dudley and bullying the Dursley parents. He controls their finances, doesn’t let them leave the house, and makes them show him their texts every hour. Then he gets a letter from Hogwarts saying that he’s a wizard and it also teaches him the spell Crucio.
Harry spends his last months using Crucio on the Dursleys before he goes to Hogwarts.
At Hogwarts, Harry finds Tom Riddle’s diary. Harry writes about what he does to the Dursleys, then Tom Riddle teaches him more spells like Super Crucio.
Harry returns home during the summer to do more Crucio on the Dursleys. Harry goes back to Hogwarts the next year and Ginny starts kissing him during potions. He really likes it. No Crucio for her.
Hedwig flies in with a letter from the Dursleys. It’s a check for all the money they made last month. All of it. It goes to Harry.
Cho Chang kisses Harry. But Harry likes Ginny a little more. Crucio for Cho.
Cedric Diggory finds out about what Harry does to the Dursleys. During the end of year ceremony, he announces his findings to the student body. He shows videos of Harry using Crucio and taking the Dursleys’ money. The students cheer. 10 million points to Griffindor.
Harry graduates valedictorian because he got all those points. He becomes Minister of Magic.
The scar no longer pains Harry. All was well.
TC: 5 galleons, 3 sickles, 10 bronze knuts.
——————————————————
Got some DMs asking for more.
Encore:
10 years later, Dudley is now selling magazine subscription to earn money… for Harry. Vernon is on life support from all the Crucio, and Petunia fled to North Korea for a better life.
Harry married Ginny, but keeps Cho on the side. He has 3 children:
1. James
2. Severus
3. X Æ A-12.
Ron married Hermione. Ron misses Bill and George. So does Hermione 😏.
Luna Lovegood graduated from Hogwarts 3 years ago after majoring in the arts. She’s trying to become an account manager.
Draco Malfoy thought he’d get a job in the oil business. That went bust pretty quickly. Now he’s attending a full-stack engineering bootcamp. His resume describes him as a “Self-taught HTML engineer.” He never gets any callbacks.
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