feeling behind in life

Dec 8, 2019 17 Comments

i know i shouldnt compare other ppl life with mine.
but its very tough.

i subconsiously compare myself to all my friends and feel miserable.
everyone seem to have good life and they are making lot of progress in life and career.

i feel stuck. nothing seems to work.
im tired. will my time ever come ?

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TOP 17 Comments
  • Flagged by the community.

  • If you’re on social media then i would recommend deleting your profiles. I was in the same boat as you and, after deleting Facebook / Twitter etc, I started feeling like my normal self again (ie not giving a fck about others “pretend lives”)

    Also, would recommend volunteering for those less fortunate (a soup kitchen or homeless shelter). It puts things back into perspective

    If you take a step back and look at things objectively, I’m sure you have more than 80% of people on this planet do.

    Might help if you learn a new skill (not coding or something business like but something YOU enjoy!)
    Dec 8, 2019 0
  • AMD GDKa06
    I can promise you one thing - no one, I repeat, NO ONE has a perfect life. Everyone has visible or invisible problems. Even the Queen of England has problems that might seem insurmountable to her. On the other hand, there are paraplegics out there who have learnt to be happy. It's all about perspective and how you handle the cards you are dealt. Some people might have a seemingly easier hand at some things, but they might be struggling in other facets of life you have no visibility into. A rough marriage. A problem child. Maybe they're unable to have a child. A jerk manager. In laws. Health issues. No friends. You name it. There is finite time in life, and yo u possibly cannot be successful in everything. Something has to give. You will likely excel at the aspect in life you work hard at, but there will be something that is not going well because you did not give it top priority. Maybe it's your career. Maybe it's your marriage. Maybe it's your kids. You do not want to dream of trading places with anyone else because you really don't know what is not going well for them.
    Lastly, if most things seem to be going well for someone, trust me, they worked really hard at it. Learn from them. Get close to them. Observe them. And cherish in their success because they genuinely deserved it and believe that it is possible that it will happen to you too in time, but do not be jealous of them as that never did anyone any good.
    Dec 9, 2019 0
  • LinkedIn newBA
    Have a few questions for you to better understand the situation.
    1) Why do you feel you are stuck?
    2) Do you know what are the things you value and why?
    3) Also, how do you know your friends have a good life and are happy? It is very difficult to really know about people's lives from outside - Instagram / FB or even what people choose to say is not a fully honest representation of their lives.
    Dec 8, 2019 0
  • Google / Eng
    sweSharp

    Google Eng

    PRE
    Condé Nast
    sweSharpmore
    This is natural; it's what human beings do. If you spend some time thinking about why it bothers you to see others make progress in these different areas, you may be able to learn how to shut off that kind of thinking. Look at Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

    I think a more permanent solution is to learn to be happy with what you have, but NOT complacent. You seemingly still have ambition and want to continue growing, but you just need to realize that there will always be people out there smoking you in various categories. The fact that you're still trying is all you need. If you eventually find yourself happy not grinding away at this stuff then you can be happy doing that. Maybe Existentialism is a good philosophy to look up.

    One cheap and not really healthy solution is to look at people suffering and lower in the categories you're worried about than you. Watch documentaries about meth and opiate addicts and realize that you're way above the curve in terms of success. This method is pretty weak though
    Dec 8, 2019 0
  • Salesforce rat race 🧀
    I'm with you.. Off social media and still I feel the same way. And I guess coincidentally it was yesterday.
    I think most things in life are lottery. The family you were born to, your looks, your genetics, when (or whether) you met the love of your life, what relationship you have with them, the career (this is big time lottery), healthy kids, your IQ, your children's IQ, etc
    I feel I've left no stone unturned for my career and I'm still not where I want to be.. Regarding personal life as well, probably taken more heart break than is healthy for me and every single time I find partners who either don't support my in my career or who end after months or years, for reasons not related to me.
    So, just hang in there. Everything isn't your fault. You can try to the best of your ability, keep doing that, but you only have very little control over the final outcomes.
    I've cut contact with most previous friends. Most people I view as successful don't seem to empathize with what could have happened had few things not stacked up in their favor. It bothers me and I'm better off on my own. Recently, I fractured a bone before my Google onsite, I'm not in a great place with my team and work, can't go to work and can't interview for another 2 months until surgery is done. I had a close friend tell me - there's something wrong with you, you keep falling into trouble, how is that not happening to any of us? :/
    Look at the tech leed guy - L6 at FB, millionaire, wife left him, lost his child, now every woman who dates him will do it for the money, and he's busy making interview prep videos 😕
    Tldr: you don't control the deck you are handed. You can only play it the best way you know. Just cut off from people who don't make you feel good.
    Dec 9, 2019 2
    • Axtria Jz10!p
      I relate to a lot of this, even your friend who told you something is wrong. My friends tell me this all the time - that some aspect of your luck is really really off. Well, can't do anything about it. Initially I tried to maintain my calm, then I got frustrated, really frustrated, then I tried to learn from others, then I took a break and have a second shot after some time, frustrated again, then I let things be and accepted whatever life has to offer. Thanks for sharing your story, there are people like me who relate to almost every aspect of it - and I feel I haven't won really big lotteries in life (except maybe not being born in a terrible family or war ridden country), but other than that I have hustled a lot to be where I am today, even though lagging behind most folks around me - in career, in health, in relationship. But then this is life, gotta keep pushing.
      Dec 9, 2019
    • Salesforce rat race 🧀
      Thanks. You have no idea how hard this is. Friends and family tell me my issues are because I did something wrong. When my dog had an expensive issue that I had to pay for, I was told, "you got the wrong rescue". So many on this thread are saying that to op as well that he's not working hard enough.
      Meritocracy based society is good. But honestly, true meritocracy happens in the jungle and even there, survival isn't plain grit - it's luck too. And we all put ourselves under this pressure to be uniformly successful in societal eyes. :/
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Accenture Mulch
    If u can't help but compare urself to people you should spend more time on the streets so u can compare yourself with the homeless people with mental problems. Maybe you'll feel better if u can lord ur situation over them.
    Dec 9, 2019 1
    • Accenture Mulch
      Like, if you can't help but compare yourself to your peers and you think it's affecting the quality of your life, the simple answer is to lower the bar on your peers so you're hanging out with people you consider lesser thans.
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Visa pink!!!
    Have you read the book, the subtle art of not giving a fuck? I would say just try reading it. You’ll atleast get a head start in puttings things/situations into perspective. I used to care A lot about being nice and people liking me, not I don’t care as much. Literally, like me or not no fucks given
    Dec 8, 2019 0
  • Slack monden
    It’s easy to see what others have, but it’s sometimes harder to realize how many people would love to be in your position
    Dec 9, 2019 1
    • Glassdoor dqq
      Naa, most people don't want to work at Amazon.
      Dec 9, 2019
  • Facebook TC Police
    Delete social media, comparison is the thief of joy
    Dec 9, 2019 0

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