Teammate is my “manager”?

Workday
wokedayz

Go to company page Workday

wokedayz
Apr 30 39 Comments

TLDR; Im on a team that doesn’t have a lead for the diff workstreams and my manager doesn’t know anything I’m working on so my teammate (same level as me) has been acting like my manager. Teammate has been growing increasingly angry and aggressive about taking on lead responsibilities without the “lead” title which makes me scared to go to them for help and has impacted my productivity. Is this normal?

Joined a team and manager (a PM) knows absolutely nothing about my field of work (and he recently joined too) and the issue is the team has no lead for the diff workstreams. Our team is super random as it is made up of 3 product managers and 2 marketing folks. I have a teammate in my equivalent role (same level) who’s been here for 6+ years. So far, this teammate has been the only one helping me with all the onboarding and he’s clearly pissed off and annoyed with taking on obligations of a lead without the official “lead” title. Nowadays, I’ve been in a tough situation where I’d present my work to my manager and he wouldn’t even know whether it’s good or not so he’d tell me to just go ask my teammate for full feedback and approval. However, my teammate has been growing extremely rude and passive aggressive about having these additional responsibilities, putting me in a really difficult position and often becoming a bottleneck for me to execute on work (that’s starting to impact my mental health and productivity). At this point, my teammate is more like my manager than my actual manager. He has way more understanding and visibility into my work than my own manager does. Will it get better from here? I have another offer and am thinking of taking it (offer is with a manager and team specialized in what I do so at least I’m guaranteed to not go through what I’m going through now). Just hesitant to take it as I’ve only been in my current role for a few months and am afraid how the team will react when I put in my notice. Would love to hear all y’all’s thoughts before I make the decision to jump 🙏🏼 I’m a bit new to industry so maybe this is super common and I’ll have to suck it up and accept that this is life?

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TOP 39 Comments
  • Red Hat
    t💭cloud101

    Go to company page Red Hat

    t💭cloud101
    YOE ?
    Apr 30 7
    • Roche
      sryhkkss

      Go to company page Roche

      sryhkkss
      It's not your fault, OP, and the team mate know it too, he just cannot help it but being pissed. Probably wanted mangers job, did not get it. He will leave soon if he is smart.

      Do not sweat it. Just do your best and be nice to the team mate. You can tell him that you feel caught between a rock and a hard place with no winners in the situation. I would not bring it up to manger and let senior colleague straighten it out.

      Only leave if you genuinely want to go to that other place (better pay, better team, better work).
      Apr 30
    • Red Hat
      t💭cloud101

      Go to company page Red Hat

      t💭cloud101
      Yeah, if you have a better TC elsewhere, then quit!
      Apr 30
  • Twitter
    tweezer 💥

    Go to company page Twitter

    tweezer 💥
    tl;dr?
    Apr 30 2
  • Dropbox
    u.s.e.r

    Go to company page Dropbox

    u.s.e.r
    It’s normal that some managers don’t have much insight into your work, which means u have to manager up. Idk why ur supposedly team lead is being annoyed with u presenting ur work unless u r going in with every single little thing. I guess there could be some expectation communication here, and u can potentially bring the issue with this person up with ur manager, just make sure u don’t sound like u r complaining but rather u want to, well, not piss ppl off lol… good luck!
    Apr 30 4
    • Workday
      wokedayz

      Go to company page Workday

      wokedayz
      OP
      I’m constantly thanking them for every single thing they do because I genuinely do feel bad. It’s gotten to the point that I’m just really scared to approach them for anything though and would avoid bothering and pinging them until last minute :/ it’s impacting my performance big time
      Apr 30
    • Dropbox
      u.s.e.r

      Go to company page Dropbox

      u.s.e.r
      Idk how it works at ur company but at my last company (I’m new at Dropbox) u can also give good performance review and recognize them through company award system which is real money. Thanking in person is not enough because nobody sees or hears it, do it in front of people.
      May 1
  • What i see here is an opportunity for you! At, 1.5 YOE you can actually work towards being a TL as you mentioned you are hired at same level as 10 YOE as your unofficial TL

    P.S. I have been on the other side as your teammate and mostly I believe your TL is probably not aware how his behaviour impacts others. Also, he probably is an overachiever in this team and expects everyone to be doing same

    Next steps: Since you have an offer, you need not worry. Just bring the issue with TL and see how it goes. If not fruitful, bring it up with your manager and hand over the notice
    Apr 30 4
    • Workday
      wokedayz

      Go to company page Workday

      wokedayz
      OP
      For sure! I’ve actually brought this up to manager before and they said they’ve relayed to the TL that they should be more understanding and open to new ideas. Not much has changed though which is why I’m iffy about things getting better. Will definitely relay the feedback to TL and manager if I do decide to leave. Again, thank you for the advice and perspective. It’s super helpful to hear it from someone who was on the other side. The person you mentored/led def was lucky :)
      Apr 30
    • Thanks for your kind words! All the best
      Apr 30
  • Been in this situation and stuck it out for a year. Ultimately had to leave
    Apr 30 3
    • I did not bring it up to my manager. I was reporting into someone in a different function (I was in analytics he was in sales). Both he and I knew that he had zero expertise to guide with my work. The person guiding my work was on another team. There was no fixing that situation (unless my dude learned analytics and became a ninja)
      Apr 30
    • Workday
      wokedayz

      Go to company page Workday

      wokedayz
      OP
      That’s even worse wtf! Must’ve been so difficult for you, especially since that other person shouldn’t even be involved since they’re on a completely diff team. How did you manage to navigate for a year?! Was this at LinkedIn?
      Apr 30