Aging parents dillemma

Live Oak Bank
Djkrs4533

Live Oak Bank

PRE
McKinsey, BCG
Djkrs4533
Dec 20, 2019 11 Comments

My father is 85, had a stroke 10 years ago and cannot communicate well. Recently due to stroke related complications he got a lung infection and he's hospitalized but will be out soon. But he'll continue to slowly deteriorate.

My mom is 76 and has been his primary care giver. She has arthritis that continues to get worse. While she has done a good job of taking care of the both of them, her condition will get worse.

Right now I'm considering quitting my job and becoming their primary care taker. I think I can work with them better than nurses and rehab people to improve their health.

Stats
Not married as no kids.
TC 400k.
Net Worth 1.5m liquid, 0.5m retirement.
Age 42.
Living in North Carolina, parents are in NY.

Parents net worth it 4m. (I'm guessing 3m of that will be sucked up by end of life care, etc)

129 PARTICIPANTS SELECT ONLY ONE ANSWER
VOTE VIEW RESULT

comments

Want to comment? LOG IN or SIGN UP
TOP 11 Comments
  • Amazon / Consultant
    πŸ‘β€οΈπŸŒ

    Go to company page Amazon Consultant

    πŸ‘β€οΈπŸŒ
    It’s an impossible choice, but I would think qualified caregivers would be better suited to take care of them. BUT I do think there’s a third option: Hire caretakers, but move to NY and spend more time with your parents
    Dec 20, 2019 0
  • Google
    yagami

    Go to company page Google

    yagami
    Get your parents to move to North Carolina. Duh
    Dec 20, 2019 1
  • IBM / IT
    what son

    Go to company page IBM IT

    what son
    Tough choice, but with that financial stability you can hire well qualified caretakers to get it done.
    Dec 20, 2019 0
  • OYO
    GfkI84

    Go to company page OYO

    GfkI84
    Don't quit work. Esp since you are single. Like some here have pointed out, you have a third choice. Bring them to NC or you move closer to them and hire caretakers. I would add that you can take some leave of absence to begin with to spend more time with them, but don't quit.
    As a single person, when you are focused on your parents' health, and do not have a job or spouse to take your mind off of that, it can be very stressful and depressing, because all you are witnessing is end of life and no hope ahead. It's important for you to have things that will keep you nourished and optimistic.
    Dec 20, 2019 0
  • New
    ctheta

    New

    ctheta
    Why can not you move to NY to be closer to them or move them to NC. You might need additional help ( qualified care givers).
    Dec 20, 2019 0