I’m a 35yo female, happily married. But I can’t make a decision if having kids is right for me. It will impact my job, income, freedom etc.
My friends tell me that having kids is the best decision they have made. I want to know if it’s true when asked anonymously!
Blind friends with kids: would you still have kids if you go back in time?
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I have twins (8 years old now) and my husband and I both regret having kids. 9 years ago we thought billions of people had kids over thousands of years, what could go wrong? Now we know. You won't live your freedom like before. You won't enjoy doing things you really enjoy anymore. You'll be extremely restricted in every aspect in your life in every decision (as small as where to dine and as big as where to buy a house). Aside from that you will worry forever about them until you die or they die, because you want them to be safe and happy but they're not under your control (at least after a certain age) and they will make mistakes that will break your heart. You'll have the constant guilt of not caring enough for them if you keep your job, and if you leave your job you'll blame yourself and feel down and wasted. There's no real happiness and satisfaction.
The world has sugarcoated this idea of having kids, but there are very few who are brave enough to express their regret, and that too is because they're afraid of being blamed and shamed by the world as the world thinks they don't care about their kids. The reality is they do care so much and that's the main reason they regret having them, because they simply think they can't take this huge responsibility. It's not for everyone.
It's extremely tough. And I haven't even started about the financial aspect of it.
Go for it.
In 50 years time, you won't think "It's a bummer I had to wait an extra 12 months to get that promotion back in 2021."
Also, there is a neuropsychological benefit for women - women’s multitasking center in brain gets activated. And kids show you the world from very different perspective.