anonymous ask: kids or no kids?

Apple
hvdbjmu47!

Go to company page Apple

hvdbjmu47!
Nov 17, 2020 682 Comments

I’m a 35yo female, happily married. But I can’t make a decision if having kids is right for me. It will impact my job, income, freedom etc.

My friends tell me that having kids is the best decision they have made. I want to know if it’s true when asked anonymously!

Blind friends with kids: would you still have kids if you go back in time?

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TOP 682 Comments
  • Apple
    a3fs6

    Go to company page Apple

    a3fs6
    Here's my honest response: I wouldn't.
    I have twins (8 years old now) and my husband and I both regret having kids. 9 years ago we thought billions of people had kids over thousands of years, what could go wrong? Now we know. You won't live your freedom like before. You won't enjoy doing things you really enjoy anymore. You'll be extremely restricted in every aspect in your life in every decision (as small as where to dine and as big as where to buy a house). Aside from that you will worry forever about them until you die or they die, because you want them to be safe and happy but they're not under your control (at least after a certain age) and they will make mistakes that will break your heart. You'll have the constant guilt of not caring enough for them if you keep your job, and if you leave your job you'll blame yourself and feel down and wasted. There's no real happiness and satisfaction.
    The world has sugarcoated this idea of having kids, but there are very few who are brave enough to express their regret, and that too is because they're afraid of being blamed and shamed by the world as the world thinks they don't care about their kids. The reality is they do care so much and that's the main reason they regret having them, because they simply think they can't take this huge responsibility. It's not for everyone.
    It's extremely tough. And I haven't even started about the financial aspect of it.
    Nov 17, 2020 31
  • Google
    several

    Go to company page Google

    several
    It's the hardest and the most rewarding thing you'll do.
    Go for it.

    In 50 years time, you won't think "It's a bummer I had to wait an extra 12 months to get that promotion back in 2021."
    Nov 17, 2020 2
    • Apple
      a3fs6

      Go to company page Apple

      a3fs6
      Not for everyone. Please don't sugarcoat it as the world does. It might be that way for many, but definitely not for all.
      Nov 17, 2020
    • Google
      yAKt67

      Go to company page Google

      yAKt67
      @Google For the female who has to deliver the baby, I sort of doubt that right after delivery they can go right back to work, pick up where they left off and be back on track for promotion. So I think you are over simplifying a lot
      Dec 6, 2020
  • SAP
    bbhdsjj

    Go to company page SAP

    bbhdsjj
    Its funny to see people on blind behaving as if their cog in the machine capitalism serving job is equivalent to serving some higher purpose value in this world. For god’s sake its just a job. Get off that high horse. That promotion and career doesn’t mean shit in the bigger picture. Its just carrots created by your company to keep you engaged aka in chasing mode. Realize this before you are on your death bed. Sorry do not mean to troll but just my pov that people here tend to take their job way more seriously than it probably deserves. So much so that they delay or in some cases choose not to have children.
    Nov 19, 2020 3
    • Atlassian / Eng
      atenplan

      Go to company page Atlassian Eng

      PRE
      Accruent, Geek Squad, Best Buy
      atenplan
      I've read through most of the comments here, and I don't get the sense that people without children feel their work is serving some higher purpose. It just seems like they have no interest in having children, and additionally, it will take away from the things they are enjoying/focused on now.
      Dec 27, 2020
    • Apple / Eng
      💫⭐️✨

      Go to company page Apple Eng

      💫⭐️✨
      Yeah we all hate our jobs. But the kids you adore and cherish will inevitably have to get a job some day as well, and then hate their life because of that. What’s the point?
      Dec 29, 2020
  • Kaspersky / HR
    corrona

    Go to company page Kaspersky HR

    PRE
    Heineken
    corrona
    My kid has special needs, i would still have him. I hated being pregnant, first year was a nightmare as my kid wasn’t a good sleeper, but then it’s amazing, because nobody will ever love you more and better than your child until they become teenager.
    Also, there is a neuropsychological benefit for women - women’s multitasking center in brain gets activated. And kids show you the world from very different perspective.
    Nov 17, 2020 8
    • Amadeus
      JnDH67

      Go to company page Amadeus

      JnDH67
      @hg558sny1$ why don't you give him up for adoption?
      Dec 27, 2020
    • Zoox
      $#|t

      Go to company page Zoox

      $#|t
      Very few people like corrona can take feedback and confirm/cross-check facts again and accept their fact might be wrong. Respectable, wish more people could be open-minded like her in our society.
      Dec 27, 2020
  • Palantir / Eng
    tSlW86

    Go to company page Palantir Eng

    tSlW86
    There will definitely be a voluntary response bias towards “no” here
    Nov 17, 2020 5