wondering if anyone here has good ideas on how to maintain boundaries, both real and perceived, with a mentor of the opposite sex. we spend a lot of time together in meetings, sometimes just the two us, and sometimes outside of the office over drinks, etc. I enjoy those sessions and get lot of inspiration/good career advice out of them, but sometimes I worry if it’s too easy to send the wrong signals (to others or to each other) when we spend hours together at a time. of course, I don’t want to hold my career back either. am i overthinking? advice would be appreciated TC 450
Keep it entirely in the office? Shift to group mentoring? Keep alcohol out of it.
How to find a good mentor?
If a misunderstanding happens then immediately correct it. Sometimes it can be all in your head as well.
Mentors aren’t friends you go kick back another drink with late at night. Yes it’s weird. You should probably find someone more professional
Dont drink together wtf thats like rule #1
“Outside of the office over drinks, etc” ? You are definitely not overthinking.
450k ? What's your title and work ex ?
You make 450K and you have a hot female mentor or something? Life’s pretty good for you.
Lol well that does sound good. But I’m female
Male engineer here and I’ve had female mentees throughout my career. We mentors struggle with the boundaries too sometimes. A mentor always has your back and gives strong advice and acts as an advocate. It’s easy for feelings to creep in because this kind of interaction creates a sense of intimacy. It is intimate—but in one direction only—never forget that. It will help maintain the boundaries in the relationship. PM if you want to talk some about it.
A “Good” mentor always has your back. I have come across too many people posing as mentors unfortunately 😞 I am male and have also served as being a mentor to both men and women. I found that being in a healthy stable relationship helps me keep boundaries with women that I mentor.
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You’ve used that same emoji in like 90% of your replies.
Sure have! It applies here!