#metoo fucking up my personality
Extrovert new grad who just joined the work force. I'm a very social and friendly guy and I don't like to hold back when I feel like something is worth a compliment. Nothing NSFW. Just stuff like "hey, nice jacket or shoes" or whatever but #metoo got me fucked up. I forcefully hold myself back a bit because idk how a colleague would react to it. I can see that people can see that hesitation and I'm pretty close to coming off as a weirdo. Does every guy feel this on some level or is it just me? TC:145k
Woman in tech here. I don’t want to hear that shit at work.
^ This. I’m sure a complement from someone like OP would just make your whole day. 😂
Uhh it's nice when people notice something new like a haircut or w.e... what are you talking about
No one is gonna get offended if you say ‘nice jacket’. Have you ever worked with a female coworker? They’re humans, just don’t be a creep.
Thanks Obama
You can compliment their work, not their looks.
Big difference between "yo nice shoes" or "hey great job speaking your mind in that meeting" v. "yo nice tits" or "those heels perk up your calves and ass." If you cant tell the difference maybe #MeToo is not the problem. I get it, you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around females but come on dude... you really think it's that bad?
No nice shoes comment will get you fired. She will say you harrassed her and you have a foot fetish too.
Man, guess you don't have friends. If a female came to work rocking those Harry Potter Vans, I'd compliment my friend and talk about how I thought about buying my wife and baby a matching pair. You can compliment coworkers without trying to shove your peter down their throat.
Honestly I think it’s good that you hesitate now. One of my (now) best friends is also super social and friendly. He does not mean anything by his comments or actions. When he had first joined my company all of the girls (and some guys) had a huge issue with him and thought he was creepy. Multiple people talked with HR and his manager. His manager had to have a few 1-1s about it. Now that I know him well I know it’s just his personality but even though he doesn’t mean anything by it other people’s bubbles might be a bit larger. Like isn’t it better now that you’re now thinking about how your colleagues would react to things? And isn’t it better that they’re not made uncomfortable?
What would he say that would make him seem creepy? Honestly it’s probably because he was ugly. If he looked like Brad Pitt I’m sure nobody would’ve complained.
Actually he’s very attractive! I’m a girl and I think all the girls at the company would agree with me. Pretty cute and fit. He was a new grad and didn’t realize he needed to filter himself. So he would say things like “I like your shoes it reminds me of what a dominatrix would wear.” You can still be creepy and attractive.
DBAP
Can you give a compliment without being creepy? If you are worried about metoo, you must be a creep. Practice not being a creep and maybe you’ll be ok. The only coworkers I know sweating about metoo are the ones who are creepy assholes. Most non assholes have no problems talking to women at work.
The trouble is creepy is usually based on looks. So if you are a decent or above average looking male you can get away with giving any compliment. Incels however will be deemed creepy regardless of how innocuous their comments are.
The fear part is not just you - though even saying that is likely to get me some hate, but it's unrealistic to say otherwise. But moreover, recognize that it's an irrational fear - as many fears often are. It's also really not as hard as it sounds to stay professional. Respect for your coworkers, not fear, should be the driving force here.
Just you
Shit, all right.