Lead engineer is ignoring emails and refusing to communicate because of personal quarrel.

Amazon / Eng
qPxk25

Go to company page Amazon Eng

qPxk25
Dec 28, 2019 17 Comments

Asking for my gf. Shes a PM who had a friendship with her projects lead engineer, and would hang out outside of work together. They got in an argument about sonething outside of work, and totally unrated. Well i guess he didnt care for how she handled the argument cuz now he completely ignores her at work.

The engineer is responsible for keeping her informed about the technical portion of the project, and making sure all the different engineering groups are working well together (sonething like an SDE3 or Senior Engineer at Amazon).

The guys now ignoring her emails, blocked her on chat, doesnt attend meeting, nothing! Now my gf is getting heat from her boss cuz the projects going sideways and she doesnt know whats happening. Shes had to start talking to other engineers on his team, and ccing his boss in all her communication to get anything. On top of that the guy sends her multiple emails a say where he harasses her with sassy, insulting emails. Nothing clearly HR violations, but obviouly trying to get under her skin.

I really need advice on how to handle this. Its been goi g on like tbis for like 3 months now. I have never had an issue like this. She doesnt wanna blow the issue up with bringing in HR, plus she thinks they wont do anything. She just needs a way to get the job done without delaying the project anymore.

TLDR: lead engineer stopped all communication with the PM cuz if personal issues, engineering tasks arent getting done. Need advise on how to handle the situation.

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TOP 17 Comments
  • Roku
    HAL_9001

    Go to company page Roku

    HAL_9001
    The lead engineer and ur gf need to grow out of high school mindset.

    So do you for posting for gf. Let her post her own shit. 😈
    Dec 28, 2019 3
  • Amazon
    Stonks📈

    Go to company page Amazon

    Stonks📈
    Report to the engineer’s manager. If the person starts to ignore email, start to escalate. That’s how I’d do it in amazon since we are a culture of escalation anyway.

    Email the engineer, cc the manager - see if the response comes or not ;)
    Dec 28, 2019 3
  • Hopefully your girlfriend learned her lesson to not have romantic relationships with coworkers. Sounds like something happened on one of their dates and now it is affecting their professional lives. If you want to help your girlfriend, you should suggest that her and her coworker either learn how to compartmentalize their affair or they cut off the fling entirely.
    Dec 28, 2019 0
  • Oracle
    ociam

    Go to company page Oracle

    ociam
    There’s a reason you don’t shit where you eat. This is one of those.
    Dec 28, 2019 0
  • Walmart / IT
    LqTV37

    Go to company page Walmart IT

    PRE
    Amazon, Citibank, Microsoft
    LqTV37
    She got to take this to her manager with a professional touch in her lingo. Plain complaints against a sr member of her team won't help much.
    If need be she can take this to HRBP as last resort for consultation not as a formal complain unless she has some solid proofs.
    Dec 28, 2019 2
    • Amazon / Eng
      qPxk25

      Go to company page Amazon Eng

      qPxk25
      OP
      Thanks for your advise. This is her first project so shes really worried that shell look bad if she was in the middle of an issue like this.

      Probably better than if the project falls apart :/
      Dec 28, 2019
    • Walmart / IT
      LqTV37

      Go to company page Walmart IT

      PRE
      Amazon, Citibank, Microsoft
      LqTV37
      I'm also a developer and i understand how critical it is to have a proper synergy between dev and PM. If I've fallen under similar situation, i would talk to my PM directly and will try to clarify things in amenable manner considering his temperament. It's about suffering some ego for few months then opt better PM or developer for next project.
      Dec 28, 2019