i am doing everything to keep my family together and i dont know what to do. my dad has been an abusive husband to my mom, physically in past and emotionally at present. my mom is a housewife who raised us, me and my sis up with love and care and be everything my dad is not. i grew up without any bad habits like smoking or drinking or anything. i found escape in books and movies and food. i am now 28yrs old and have everything to support my family but i am not healthy. i want to get fit before getting married but both my parents in india are trying to force me to marry this year. i dont want to be a laughing stock in my marriage and i want my time to build up the confidence. anytime i try to convince my parents to wait longer my mom cries for leaving her alone and my dad makes everyones life miserable. i dont know what to do to convince them 😭
Sorry to hear that. Buckle up. Be a sounding board to mom and convince her that things will be alright....there is no harm in checking out girls if they have someone in mind. Perhaps that will push u further to build ur personality.
Thanks
Op that’s a slippery slope. Don’t check out those girls unless you are ready for arranged marriage. Countless numbers of friends have fallen prey to that predatory tactic and ended up getting married to some unknown girl and before they knew it they had kids.
Thank you for sharing. Take your time, get fit physically and (if needed) emotionally, learn about yourself. You can get married 10 years later and you’ll be fine
Have you started working out yet?! If not, you'll never do it.
Yeah i go to gym everyday. Fixed my diet too. Its just too much to do and to little time. With everything in life i just thought let me take care of everything one at a time. Being financially independent and getting promoted and supporting my sisters higher studies and saving enough. I got all of that done. I kept health for the last and now its long way to go to achieve that
Never, ever, ever rush to marriage because of family pressure. Guess what's going to happen if you do? They'll start demanding a grandchild, also a major life choice that should be up to YOU, not them.
Still waiting to revert for the same.
If you’re a guy, 28 isn’t too late. You got at least two years until you should feel the pressure.
Don't give in. Sounds harsh but indian parents need to learn to stop living through their kids. Remind yourself that you are your OWN person.
Assuming you are on visa, I would suggest tell them that you have some visa issues and cant come to Your country this year and would come next year and manager when you dint find strong reasons😂😂
Marriage is a irrevocable lifetime commitment, not a milestone. You've got to do it when you know its right, it may come tomorrow at the gym it may come in 10 years, and it may never come which is perfectly fine too. March to the beat of your own drum. On the getting fit side your heads not in the marriage game if your priority is self improvement again totally fine. On keeping your family together, at the end of the day what will be will, and what wont be wont , you arent going to perform some heroic gesture to turn back time where everything is peachy. They've got to work on it themselves, that doesnt mean you cant be a good person to them but you've got the opportunity to build your own brady bunch when the time is right. Dont settle.
Agree! I am in a same boat as OP but no problems/issues from family perspective. Marriage can not be milestone. Sometime you think it as milestone because people surrounds you asks you questions especially indian and if you are from india(I am an Indian) that ...when are you getting marriage? now its your turn? ...There is no fucking answer to this useless question!! keep in mind.
Yeah don't sweat it, go with the flow. Cause if they didn't have marriage to pester you about itll be when are the kids coming, if you knock out the kids, when are you going to buy a bigger house, get the bigger house they'll be in the retirement home asking you why you haven't visited them more. Legitimately life is quick, don't let others map yours out. Full disclosure I'm married 2 kids , and i promise you there is no way in hell we'd last if we weren't made for each other. Being married to the wrong person has to be worse than being locked up.
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