i am relatively new to this country(5 years now) and i notice that american men seem to be softer than american women(i mean that in the nicest way possible). it seems like all the laws favor women and in tech, women are always complaining that they are receiving lower pay and then it becomes the mens responsibility to give them raises or to hire more women(even though statistically, men major in college higher paying majors such as engineering). men in leadership will then say “we need to do better”, even though i see men staying later in the office. besides the workplace, divorces usually favor the women. i am also seeing the american family dynamic and it is strange to me. when american men make jokes in front of their wives, they are often the butt of the joke, saying things like “she makes the decisions, i just do what she says”, etc. this is all very strange to me. is this just the culture? if so, why dont the men stand ip for themselves?
You here for 5 yrs and never heard of Cosby, Ailes, Epstein, and so on..
I'm not sure if I'd describe it the way you do. We're in a high tech field with very educated intelligent people. We're more likely to look at, and accept data driven statistics, and work to improve them. It's not a matter of being soft, but a matter of working to improve our lives, and those around us. Finding a proper balance of well-being. We're also in a very high paying profession, which eliminates financial burdens that 99% the rest of the world has. If no one had financial burdens then they'd be able to spend time finding other ways to improve general quality of life too. Essentially it's a privilege granted by our financial status
But there are many other statistics that show that American boys/men are in trouble. Prisons are filled with more men, statistically men have higher rates of depression in America and I believe suicide rates are higher as well. Why isn’t there as much focus on the trouble of men. Working in tech, all I see everyday is that women are getting paid less and that “we need to do better”
Prisons area filled by men because statistically men commit more violent crimes than women. It's not an unfair lottery.
I get what you're saying but what culture are you comparing to? Perhaps Korean culture?
Compared to many Asian and Eastern European cultures
You don’t seem to get the culture yet boy
Men stand up for women because they aren’t cowards with an inferiority complex. It takes balls not to have to tout your manhood to feel good about yourself.
There are some interesting cultural observations but they do not relate to "softness", just a difference due to the history of the US. Re: Men's responsibility to pay women more. That's only a problem because men seem to be overrepresented in a lot of leadership positions that actually control payment of an organization. If the top was stacked with lizards, the lizards would feel the pressure to pay women more as well. Yes there is a pipeline problem and many people are working to reduce that and encourage a more diverse interest in careers at an earlier age. Divorce laws unfortunately seem to favor women now because a long time ago, women didn't work, couldn't vote and had their entire lives dictated by their husbands. When a husband divorced a wife for whatever reason, she was left with nothing and her life was destroyed. People didn't act in good faith and laws were made to correct that. The landscape is different now but history still ripples
Great answer
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How many data points are you using to make those conclusions? The sum total of your coworkers and neighbors? Men here (pretty much anywhere else for that matter) tend to be more aggressive and dominant.
I'm so confused, how does that make them soft?
The only thing I see is the self deprecating jokes, other things I don't see as soft
It seems to me that men in America see themselves as more expendable than women. There are many more problems with American men that I am seeing than with women. Statistically, American men are more likely to go to prison, have higher rates of depression, less likely to go to college, yet at work I see more emphasis on paying women more. Why doesn’t American society focus on these issues as much as equal pay?