Is filling for divorce reasonable given my situation
Wife (26F) and I (28M) have been married for 2 years. We live in an expensive city, and since she lost her job due to performance issues, l've been covering all our bills. Even when she was employed, she contributed only about 20% to our total expenses. She typically cooks and occasionally does laundry, and only cleans once a week, which often leads to arguments. She uses my car freely but leaves it almost always empty, not bothering to refuel. Her daily routine is literally browsing TikTok, applying to a few jobs, and attending Pilates classes. Now here's the issue: when we have an argument, she stops she stops cooking for days or weeks and the house remains uncleaned for days, sometimes weeks. This ongoing situation makes me question our marriage. Is considering divorce over these issues valid?
This is hot girl behavior so the answer depends if she’s hot.
She lost that status. She’s not hot
Why don’t you propose that she tries dating others? And we all will know
Maybe I'm not from the same culture. Shouldn't the finance be fully integrated after marriage, 2 years no less? And here you are counting your money and her money, so strange.
This. And “her chores”. Cooking and cleaning for yourself were things you did before you got married. Being unemployed doesn’t mean she becomes your maid. She could be depressed. Take care of her instead of kicking her to the curb. Did you not vow to be together through thick and thin? Healthy and sick? Richer or poorer? It’s only been two years!
Honestly op seems like a horrible person. It is much better he kicks her to the curb now than after he convinces her to have his children. This might be her forced chance to find someone good to have children with and live with.
The behavior is pretty unacceptable and I don't think anyone should fault you for divorce. Does she bring anything else to the relationship? I.e. is she at least good companionship? Do you like spending time together? Any shared interests? If you are having trouble deciding and want to try and salvage things, you guys need to learn to fucking talk to each other. Your wife sounds depressed, and from your post it feels like the only time issues are brought to light is when you're at a boiling point. Couples counseling could be a good option. Again, that's if you want to try and make it work. I wouldn't blame you for leaving. My wife had a really dark period for a few years, and initially I was getting extremely mad. I was our only income, and she barely cleaned and slept most days. I took care of practically all of the chores. I didn't threaten to leave, but told her I couldn't keep doing this if she wasn't going to open up about what was going on. When we finally had a heart to heart and she was totally honest about how she was feeling, we agreed no pressure on chores until she got.help and was feeling better. She'd take care of what she could, and I'd take care of the rest while she worked on herself. About 6 years later, and we're still together and better than ever. What made it possible is that I really did (and do) love her and valued her companionship, and didn't see our relationship as strictly transactional. Nothing is 50/50 for us, but thenother person makes up in different ways. You find what works for you, but you can't do that if your partner isn't willing to communicate.
There is so much good stuff in here.
Thanks for posting this, especially in the midst of Blind most loved comments: "divorce". Most people here on Blind have never been married and will likely never know what being married means, yet they are quick to tell others to divorce instead of trying to help the other address the root cause of the issue they are experiencing.
You will have same issues with another spouse if you divorce and remarry
I think you are a bit selfish … help her to get her life back and talk with her without arguing but using active listening. You should support her, not finish her
Future date: “So, I know it’s personal, but before we get too serious, can I ask, why did you divorce your wife?” OP: “I didn’t think she was cooking and cleaning enough. Oh, and she didn’t always fill up our car’s gas tank after driving.”
There could be underlying hatred in her. Given the post I doubt Op and his wife have much romance left.
You don’t understand what is marriage. You are looking at it like a roommate agreement
So you see this as a roommate agreement not weaponized laziness?
Good you realize you married a b**** before having kids. Not everyone else is as lucky. Just thank yoir stars and dlie divorce ASAP. Also, in the next relationship live in with the girl for atleast 1 year before marrying.
Go to couples therapy
Unequivocally, yes. Her weaponization of chores when that’s her current sole contribution is absolutely unacceptable and is a huge red flag. I understand there are a lot of variables here but there’s a common theme among what you’ve described and that’s that she’s taking advantage of you.
Also, make this a poll.
Thanks you poll has been added. You literally just explained how I feel