Does anyone else have a HUGE crush on Bezos?

I'm afraid to come clean about this because I don't want people to laugh at me, but I can't hold in my feelings any longer. I have had several loves throughout my life, but none that compare to this. I spend my days completely tuned out from my surroundings, permanently in my fantasies of living in a mansion with Jeff, kissing his shiny bald head and listening to his booming, sonorous laugh. I yearn to hear his laugh so much that I have it ripped onto my computer as an mp3; I listen to it on repeat every morning during my commute. My darling Jeffrey....when I first saw you, you went by JB and you had the stars at your fingertips. Even as the money began to change you, I never lost hope, for I knew that one day you would be back in my arms . Every night I sit on my porch, looking at the moon and wondering if you're thinking about me. I want to nestle my face into your neck, then run the tip of my tongue along your earlobes. Would it be too forward to call you my baby? My only? The fire that lights my loins? Oh my, I'm starting to blush! Jeffrey, oh Jeffrey Sincerely, You Know Who :)