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Up until last month, I was hitting the gym and playing sports regularly, which kept me happy and in shape. I was also chatting daily with a close friend I had feelings for and felt really motivated about my job search as I was recently laid off. Luckily, my living expenses are low and my savings are okay, so I'm not too stressed about money. But things took a turn when my friend decided to move on and went completely silent on me. At the same time, I injured myself and might need surgery. Going from super active to mostly bedridden has really messed with my mental health, so I decided to see a psychiatrist. Turns out, I've got a lot going on: severe ADHD, depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Four major diagnoses, not just a single one like I thought. After bombing a mock system design interview, Iām extremely low on self esteem. It's tough enough to land a job and perform in this market, but with my mental and physical health issues, it feels nearly impossible. Now, I'm mostly lying in bed all day feeling awful about myself. Really need some support here.
Man, all I can say is that this shall pass through :) I wish you all the best!
Thank you very much for the support!
I can relate with you a little bit, injured myself skiing, went through a bade breakup and needed to find a new job asap. I feel like Iām still not my old self even after a few years. My message would be just donāt lose hope and focus on controlling the aspects of life which you can control. Like preparing for interviews and putting yourself out there for dates etc. and not focusing too much on the results. I had also found this speech to be of great value at that time: https://youtu.be/pxBQLFLei70?si=-dkUX3ZlhcO0xkHx
Great video. Thanks a lot for sharing. I hope you'll find your way through the situation as well
Best thing to do is the basics while you sort things out. Establish a simple routine and stick to it. Set a Bed Time and Wake time get 8-9hrs of sleep Drink water try to meal prep something healthy Get some sort of exercise or a walk daily Talk to a friend or family member. Take it one day at a time, donāt beat yourself up if you slip up. Trust me it sounds trivial but it gives you a manageable way to create progress which will help build your self esteem. Iāve been through similar so youāre not alone. (ADHD, Unemployment, Anxiety, and Depression) ā¤ļøšŖ Two years from now youāll look back and be proud of how you pulled through and this can be a story you tell to a stranger needing help.
Thanks a lot for the advice, and sorry that you had to go through lots of issues as well. I'll try to have a schedule and follow it. How long did it take you to recover from those things?
Fix your fking game, get off blind
I went through something similar, not all the same issues, but similarly many big ones piling at the same time. What helped me immensely was group therapy. Ask your psychiatrist to refer you to iop programs.
Interesting. This is the first time I heard about iop programs. Will follow up with my psychiatrist on this and group therapy as well. Thanks for the pointer.
Iop programs are usually group. So it was one suggestion, not two different ones. Feel free to dm if you need more info.
You shouldnāt base your self worth on your profession or any single interview. Itās pretty normal to feel like this when you hit a wall the way you did. Itās extremely important to try your best to not spiral downwards. Itās so easy to just say oh I got diagnosed with all these things now i have to take medication to fix me, but in reality it will make you spiral down more. You had these āconditionsā before you were diagnosed and were doing fine. Give your body time to heal, keep your mind sharp with leetcode, and try to get back into your flow as it was before. The person who left you was clearly never your friend in the first place. I would encourage you to reach out to family members you trust for emotional support. You got this bro, donāt let a little setback hold you from reaching your ultimate potential.
Really appreciate your perspective on all mentioned aspects. It was hard for me to function before though I was able to do things, but the diagnosis felt like the final nail in the coffin for me. Yeah, it hurts to part from a friend, but probably they never were my friend in the first place.
all my love and best wishes to you, op. if you are a believer, pray. if not, consider it. if not, keep hope in tomorrow will be slightly better. if you improve 2% every week, you will be perfect in a year. don't give up and find positive people in your live. cook daily healthy and good food and make your bed first thing every morning. keep good hygiene and wake up and go to bed at the same hours daily, and try doing some reasonable exercises. make sure you spend time online learning or even better at a library. go out at least every other day, to a park or Starbucks. don't allow yourself to feel pitty. you are important and you deserve to be happy. look in the mirror every Day last thing in the evening and repeat that. on mornings, first thing after you wake, find things to be thankful for and say it at loud. measure progress every month: find some markers of your happiness and general health and track it. call at least once a week to some friend or loved one. Just to say hi. even better, try to meet them if possible. once you feel better, get a pet if you like animals and take care of it.
thank you very much for your kind words. they mean a lot!
I could have written this post nearly verbatim. Follow the advice from your doctor. Youāre allowed to decline medication. It legit gets better even though itās going to be rough for a minute while you adjust. For physical health, seek a physical therapist and get modified exercises. Like if you canāt run, pick up rowing or swimming. Keep a set schedule and bedtime. Network and apply for jobs. Sign up on Meetup to join clubs and interest groups. If youāre into religion, find a place that has a younger crowd. Consider volunteering. If you have family, contact them but be prepared for them to get annoyed with the details.
Thank you, lots of useful information here. I'll try checking out other sports
Letās do one step at a time. Iāll help you in your journey. Shall we begin? First letās get back on the health thing. Focus on what you need to recover. Surgery and rest. Letās talk about everything else after that. You have plenty of time to think about other stuff
That's a solid advice. I'll be focusing on my health for now.
Dm'ed